Posted in goals, motivation

10 Ways We Quit Ourselves

In my blog, “Why Can’t I Get off My A&$”, I explained the brains Motivational Triad as the reason why our motivation wanes.

Maybe this resonates with you:

  • You plan on sticking to a meal plan but then you break and abandon the plan.
  • You intend on finishing projects on time but then, well… you don’t
  • You plan on reading more, meditating, yoga…you know, all that “good for the soul” stuff, and then you get too rushed, too busy, too tired.
  • You say you are going to work out at least four days a week and that plan falls short most weeks. Continue reading “10 Ways We Quit Ourselves”
Posted in goals, motivation

Everything is figure-out-able!

How many times do you catch yourself saying, “I don’t know or I can’t.”

Maybe it sounds like, “I don’t know why I just can’t lose weight?”  “I don’t know how to….”  “I don’t have enough time.”  “I don’t have enough money.”  ‘I can’t figure out how to…”

These thoughts give us permission to quit on ourselves because as long as we think that we don’t know how or we can’t, we don’t have to take action, so we don’t.

We let ourselves off the hook!  When we do that, we rob ourselves and the world the benefit of showing up as our best selves.

Repeat after me…”Everything is figure-out-able!”  I know that isn’t a real word, but it should be.

Watch what happens in your life when you stop saying “I don’t know or I can’t,” and you start saying, “I am going to figure this thing out.”

As much as your brain really, really, really hates it when you introduce goals that require change, your brain loves accomplishment.

When you figure this thing out, your brain will get a dopamine hit and ask, “what’s next?”

For whatever you want to do, there is a way!

Now go be “figuring it out” goal digger!

 

Posted in Abundance, goals, motivation

How Does Attracting Abundance Work Exactly?

We are energy!  We have energy running through us. If you doubt me, rub your feet on some carpet and touch a another person.  ZAP!

When you think a thought, you create an emotion which is a vibration in your body.  Yep!  You can feel it if you sit and be with your feelings for a while.

Maybe you will feel it in your head, or maybe your stomach, maybe your knees get week, maybe your throat gets tight, maybe your chest gets tights.

Something happens viscerally.

Your emotions become fuel for the way that you show up and present yourself.  Emotions fuel your action or inaction, and that my friends is how we generate, create,  and invite the results that we get.

You literally put off a vibration that attracts like vibrations.

Think about a time that you have walked into a meeting room or any room full of people.  Think about the different vibes you got from different people.  Some people were probably warm and friendly and some were not.   Depending on what they were thinking, they were feeling a certain emotion, and that emotion was emitting a vibe.

Now imagine that you are trying to get a job or a promotion or attract wealth into your life.  If you are showing up with a chip on your shoulder, mad at the world or jealous of everyone else’s good fortune, what do you think you are inviting?

  • We invite lack by thinking about all the things we don’t have
  • We invite scarcity by talking about what we can’t afford
  • We invite drama by talking about other people and their drama
  • We invite anxiety and overwhelm by stating those emotions as how we feel

Whatever you focus on grows.  Have you ever noticed that?  Try it.

Try going through the day and noticing all of the things that you love.  Be very aware of all of the things that you see, feel, taste, smell…all of it.  Write it all down all day long.

At first it will not come easy and then as you go along throughout the day, things that you love will feel abundant.

It works in reverse too…

The day starts out terribly and just gets worse.  You get to work and nothing goes right.  The whole day feels off and you just want this one to end so that you can start over.

What is the difference?  Your thoughts!

Sure, things happen, they happen to all of us.  What we think, and what we make them mean about us, and how we respond, is what sets the rest of the day up.

We can either invite more of the frustration or we can stop, take a deep breath, find a thought that flips the script and invite what we want instead.

Like attracts like.  We have all heard that, but here is how it works.

If you are feeling happy and energized your give off that “vibe” (this is not woo, it’s science) and you attract people and experiences that are on the same current, the same frequency.

If you show up grouchy and pissy, you forecast that vibe in the way you walk, the way that you talk and the way that you move through your space.  Even if you try to mask it…you are not fooling anyone!

You attract more of the same experiences that are on that frequency.  You also attract the people who love nothing more that to be pissy and grouchy with you!  Misery truly does love company.

Attracting, inviting and creating abundance in any area of your life is not complicated.  It is only complicated by our thoughts.

We think in order to feel better, we just need to find a new job or make our boss understand or get through to our spouse and co-workers.

Nope, the only thing you need to do is manage you… manage your thoughts.

Now, saying that, doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it is the way the Universe works!

So, exactly how do you invite more of what you want into your life?  Gratitude!  Yep, turns out, that is the quickest way to up-level your vibe.

Gratitude cannot exist in the same space as anxiety, frustration and overwhelm.

We can get so easily distracted by the wanting of more and feeling of lack and scarcity.  But when we stop and sit in a space of gratitude and thankfulness for what we have,  we are given even more to be grateful for.

Managing your thoughts takes practice, you don’t get good at it over night, but…  I am here to help!

I have only a few spots available in my Abundance Warrior Boot Camp.  Click here to see if it is right for you!

Click here to watch my Facebook Live Transformation Tuesday Virtual Workshop on Money Mindset.

Posted in goals, motivation, Time

Procrastincation

Procrastination and Perfectionism are different sides to the same coin.  Both rooted in fear.  Neither serve you in showing up as your highest and best self.

We think we work better under the pressure of time.  That is what we have told ourselves to justify putting things off until the last minute.

Here is why that works for you.

A few blogs ago, I did a blog and a Facebook Live on time.  I talked about how to manage all the things that you have to do by putting in your calendar only allowing yourself so much time to get something done.

By doing that, you are laser focused for that period of time, you aren’t doing anything else.  You aren’t scrolling social media or taking calls.  You are head down and knocking it out.  You have constrained the amount of time that you are giving yourself to get it done.

That’s actually what you are doing by waiting until the last minute to do the thing, procrastinating.  That is exactly why you think that you work better under pressure.

But here is why procrastination isn’t serving you…

From the time that you find out that you need to do “the thing” until you actually do the thing, you ruminate on it.  You dread it, you think about doing it and decide to wait.  It hangs over you like a cloud.  It feels heavy, like a bag of bricks…you know what I am talking about.

You are eating up all of your time thinking about the thing you are putting off instead of enjoying your life, instead of getting stuff done, instead of knocking things out and even getting ahead.

Putting things off doesn’t solve anything, there is no upside.  In fact, it adds to overwhelm!

We tend to put off the things that we don’t feel like we do well.  We put off doing things that we don’t like to do.  We put off doing things that require we get help or figure out how to do.

The reason why you feel like you do your best work when you put things off and wait until the last minute is because you have imposed a time allowance.  You have constrained the amount of time to get the thing done.

You don’t have to do that on the back end of the deadline.  You can front end that process, get it done and then enjoy the feeling of having the thing done!

Think of what a hero you would be at work if you didn’t procrastinate, think about what a hero you would be to you!

Watch the Facebook Live Video on Procrastination here.

If you need help managing your time and overcoming perfectionism or procrastination, sign up for a mini session.  Let’ get’er done!

 

 

Posted in goals, motivation

Perfectionism…Why It’s Holding You Back

I used to wear the label “perfectionism” like a title.  So proud.  I guess I thought since it had the word “perfect” in the label that meant I was getting close…to being perfect.

I would use that term to describe myself.  I have blonde hair, blue eyes and I am a perfectionist.  I would tell prospective employers, like that was going to get me the job!

If you identify with being a perfectionist, I want you to really think about what it means.

It means that you that you are not putting your work out into the world until it is perfect, A+ work, nothing but the best, no imperfections. It means that you are not creating the results that you want because it’s not perfect.

Being a perfectionist actually keeps you from showing up as your highest and best self.  It means that while you are trying to produce A+ work, ruminating in perfectionism, someone else is putting out B- work and killing it!

How perfect do you think the first automobile was, the first PC, the first anything?

Someone will always come behind you and find something to tweek that will make the thing better, and that doesn’t mean that there was anything wrong with you or your version.

You all have gifts, you have talent, and the world needs to see them.

Where would we be if Bill Gates waited until his PC was perfect before he showed anyone?  I want you to really think about it…

What if you jumping out there being all imperfect is what inspires someone else to jump out there too.  I have a story about that here.

Perfectionism is what your brain has you ruminating in as an effort to protect you from failure, rejections and humiliation.  It sounds like a good thing, like you have higher standards of excellence, like you are more driven than someone else, you work harder.   You are wrong!

Put your work out there.  You have a song to sing that people need to hear.  You have a book to write that people need to read.  You have problems to solve that people need solutions for.

If you are waiting to raise your hand until you have to perfect words to say and the perfect tone, the perfect everything, the world won’t know how awesome you are…with all of your flaws…FLAWESOME!!!

It doesn’t matter how you got there, I get it!  In a world where nothing but an A will do, B- is uncomfortable.  Guess what?  That’s exactly what you need to do…being willing to be uncomfortable is the key to success.

As perfectionists, we think that setting high demands for ourselves always results in growth and success.  It turns out, by setting such strict, high standards we are ultimately self-sabotaging our efforts.  Setting unrealistic expectations is also severely unhealthy.

Perfectionism is a fixed mindset.  A fixed mind does not grow!

There are tons of reasons why perfectionism is debilitating for our mindset.  Stress, overwhelm, anxiety depression, low or no productivity, low self-worth, missed opportunities…

In a world where we are inundated with Pinterest perfect everything, someone is waiting to be inspired by your imperfection!

Watch my Facebook live to hear about how my imperfection has inspired others.  I share two examples.  

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, imperfect goal digger!!!!

 

Posted in goals, motivation

Self Confidence or Arrogance?

During a recent workshop on creating self-confidence, I got a great question…

“If I start showing up with more self confidence, won’t people think that I am being or becoming arrogant?”

That really made me stop and think about how often we might not show up as our highest and best self, on purpose, because part of us thinks that any demonstration of self-confidence could be mistaken for arrogance.

We shrink so others won’t mistake our confidence for arrogance.

So, let me just set the record straight on that one!

Arrogance is 100% when someone thinks that they are a better human being than someone else.

Self-Confidence is the energy of excellence, even in failure.  Self-confidence is a state of being and energy in maturity, sophistication, elegance, grace, strength and love…

Self-confidence is when we trust ourselves and our abilities, capacities and judgements.   We trust us to have our own back and honor our decisions.

As you increase your capacity to love yourself with all of your awesome flaws (flawsome), you are increasing your capacity to show up as your highest and best self even when it’s hard, even when it’s scary, even when you have never done it before.  You increase your capacity to give love and receive love.

Self-confidence is when we trust ourselves to create the result that we want, make healthy decisions, be a good judge of character.  Self-confidence is an amazing asset that helps push us through doubt and fear and indecision.  Self-confidence helps us take the sting out of rejection and humiliation.

Self-confidence comes from a place of love, abundance, maturity and security.

Arrogance is someone who thinks that they are a better human than someone else.  They build up their ego by putting others down.  Arrogance is born out of insecurity, scarcity, immaturity and fear.

This is my opinion…but, I don’t think you can have too much self-confidence.  That’s like saying you can have too much love or too much abundance, or too much maturity or too much security or have to much of an energy of excellent even in failure.  Not possible.

Having self-confidence does not make you arrogant, arrogance makes you arrogant.

A self-confident person has a deep capacity to love others and be vulnerable.  Self-confident people are easy to be around and easy to talk to.   Self-confident people are comfortable to be around.

An arrogant person does not love themselves, does not trust themselves or anyone else.  They hide their vulnerabilities.  They are not easy or fun to be around at all!!!

I hope this explanation gives you confidence to show up as someone who loves and trusts yourself deeply.  Show up with self-confidence, it’s a good look!

Here is a link to the Transformation Tuesday Facebook live all about self-confidence.

 

 

Posted in goals, motivation

Why Your Brain Wants You to Quit

Your brain is designed to scan for what is wrong or how we can do better, that’s how we have stayed alive and evolved over time.

That’s the old operating system that isn’t working for the modern day world we live in.  We have to train the operating system to look for what is going right, what’s working.

When we don’t believe that we can create the result that we want, our brain says it’s time to quit.  It says that you don’t know how, or your too old or you don’t have the money or this life isn’t meant for you, the job was never yours, you have too much to learn to be promotable.

We don’t lose the ability to achieve the result we want, we lose the belief that we can create it.

Your brain is trying to protect you from feeling frustrated, being tired, being uncomfortable, being scared or nervous, all the emotions that bubble up when we are in a growth state.  But that’s where all the good stuff is.  That is where our evolution happens.

I almost quit on one of my goals last week.  I stopped believing that I could produce a result that I wanted.  So my brain started looking for evidence that something was wrong, to give me an excuse, to justify my quit.  I literally had to step in, take over and stop the thought loop and understand that these were thought errors.  They were not warning signs, they were waning signs.  Signs that my belief in myself waning.

You might have some legit reasons to stop pursuing a goal.  It might be too dangerous or not mentally healthy but for the most part, we want to quit because we stop believing.

Let’s be honest.  It’s easy to believe when there is evidence but we must believe even when there is none.

Ask yourself where else this has shown up in your life?  Where else did you stop believing in yourself and maybe quit on yourself in a relationship, at a job, school, business, your passion…

Decide

Believe

Commit

Believe

Let your brain throw a fit

Believe

Take action

Believe

Celebrate your belief in yourself!

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, believing goal digger!!!!

Transformation Tuesday Facebook live replay

Posted in goals, motivation

Failing Does Not Make You A Failure

I have been talking to a lot of people about why they don’t set big goals, the ones that seem impossible and outrageous.

I mean, let’s be honest, we pretty much set the ones that we know we have a pretty good shot at hitting.

We set goals within the possibilities of what we believe we can accomplish. Why? We don’t want to feel like a failure. We don’t want to feel what it would feel like to fail.

There is a reason for that, in fact there are two:

  1. You are human
  2. You have a brain

You are probably noticing a pattern, those two reasons are the reasons for everything!

That is the best news…

Your brain wants to seek pleasure, avoid pain and conserve energy. Setting goals well within your possibility of achievement makes your brain very, very, very comfortable. But that is not where growth and transformation happen.

Your willingness to seek growth, be uncomfortable and take massive action (not to be confused with frantic action) is the key to showing up as your highest and best self and getting the results that you want.

  • Be willing to seek growth by face planting, and then doing better next time.
  • Be willing to be uncomfortable…your brain will really fight you on this.
  • Take massive action by not stopping until you get the result that you want.

Don’t take your eyes off of the goal just because you have a fail. Be willing to fail again and again and keep going, keep growing.

For example: if losing weight is your goal, be willing to learn how to eat healthy (seeking growth), be willing to step on the scale every day and fail to see the needle move (uncomfortable) be willing to eat clean and move your body anyway (massive action).

Do it until you get the result that you want.

True Story:
I remember my very first ever horse-back riding lesson about 8 years ago. I showed up to the lesson all excited about learning how to ride. We learned how to groom, tack up the horse and then we were led to the arena where it was time to get on. I stepped up to the mounting block like a boss and put my foot into the stirrup, added a little weight to hoist myself up and I proceeded to fall off of the mounting block and under the horse. Not once, not twice, not even three times…four times people!

It was humiliating, it was frustrating, nothing comfortable about failing under a horse 4 times in front of everyone.

But in April, Kit and I will ride for a bronze medal in Western Dressage. I have failed thousands of times over the last 8 years. Every fail was a lesson, every fail filled in the gaps of knowledge and understanding until self-doubt was replaced with self-growth.

Failing does not make you a failure, it makes your determined!

Now, go be a goal setting, failing, goal getting, goal digger!!!

Ready to get goaling with 1:1 coaching?

Posted in goals, motivation

Fail On Purpose

Self-doubt creeps into spaces where we lack knowledge and understanding. That’s it! That is all there is to self-doubt.

Sometimes we doubt our own ability to achieve the result that we want so we fail ahead of time. We don’t do anything, we opt out of success.

That kind of fail doesn’t teach you anything and the more you do that kind of fail, the easier it gets to just opt out of living the life that we want.

The other kind of fail is to show up, do all you can do, go all in. Then if you flat out face-plant fail, and you will, look for the learning, the knowledge, the understanding.

When you start learning and understanding, you start edging out self-doubt with self-growth.

Last Transformation Tuesday I talked about failing and how it should be part of your success plan. Your willingness to fail and keep going and try again and again, is your ticket to success.

No one who has ever had success did it without failing first. No one!!!

Watch the Virtual Goal Setting Workshop and Transformation Tuesday replay here. 

Posted in goals, motivation

Goals Manifesto Blog #1 for 2019

To kick off the New Year, I want to share my philosophy about goals. Last year blew my mind, this year is going to be even better!

Here is my Goals Manifesto for 2019!

Goals are meant to give your life direction, dimension, and texture. 

Goals are meant to guide you on the path of becoming the person that you want to be, exactly how you want to show up.

Goals are not about where you come from, but where you are going. 

Goals are not only about what you have or have not accomplished, but what is possible. 

Goals are not meant to defeat, but to inspire. 

Goals are not going to motivate you, you must move forward and invite motivation to follow. 

Merely having a goal will not get you to the destination. 

Missing the target or destination by your specified time is not a measure of failure, it’s a matter of timing. 

As much as achievement counts, who I become along the way is by far more significant. 

There is no end-point, I will always be striving for growth in different areas of my life at different times. 

I accept that with every goal achieved I will have a different level of responsibility and for that reason, I will be responsible with the goals that I set. 

“In 2019 my objectives will be met because I am going to carefully choose and manage my thoughts by selecting the appropriate emotions that will serve me.  By being selective in my emotions I will choose actions that support my goals and as a result I will achieve and exceed my own expectations.”

Posted in goals, motivation

What Thought Do You Want To Prove True?

“I don’t like to travel” is just athought.  “I am a homebody” is just another thought.  Sounds so benign, and harmless.

But…

When I travel, and I think the thought that  “I don’t like to travel or that I am a homebody,”  I feel anxious.  When I feel anxious, I don’t explore or take advantage of the surroundings.  I don’t enjoy the process of the packing and the planning.  The result is, I don’t enjoy traveling.

Notice how the result proves my thoughts true!  Your thoughts always prove your yours true!

That’s my old story… an old belief that I wanted to change.  Steve loves to travel and we have always had opposite thoughts about travel.  

So how does a“homebody, none-traveler” change their belief, the story?  Starts with athought, of course.

Changing your thoughts will for sure change your results. 

New thought: this trip is going to be fun

Feeling:  excited to explore new things

Action: go check things out when I get there

Result:  I enjoy traveling, and I have fun

It’s not as easy as it sounds but it is that simple.  

What do you want the result to be? 

What thought do you want to prove true?

Choose wisely because you are going to prove a thought true, which one will it be?

When I really deep dive into my thoughts around travel, I realize that I have certain things that I do look forward to doing.  I even have some rituals…

I get my hairdone, do my nails, buy comfy jammies.  I love buying airport sweatshirt.  I love them!  Trying airport food.  Airports have great restaurants if you are open to trying them out.  I’m on a quest for the best airport burger.  I love checking out the fitness rooms at hotels and for sure love a bed I don’t have to make!

I would still put  myself in the category of homebody.  Meaning,that I love being at home most of the time.  But now I can honestly say that I also do enjoy travel!

And the truth is, I travel a lot.  I travel for work, to visit my family, going to horse shows…I am sometimes gone more than home, too much to not enjoy every moment and be thankful for the opportunity to do the things that I get to do.  

So, even though I am a homebody, I love when I get to travel!

Now,  go be a goal setting,  goal getting,  goal digger!!!

Posted in goals, motivation

Results Prove Your Thoughts True…Choose Your Thoughts Wisely

I have been preaching for almost a year now that if you want different results, you have to start with your thoughts.  I had to really swallow my own medicine two weeks ago like never before.

I am exhausted and my body hurts and I failed miserably to show up like I needed to in order to have a successful Western Dressage show.

I can literally trace my thoughts back to more than two months ago when Kit stopped sweating and acquired the most amazing rain rot due to the relentless humidity.

We couldn’t ride, she looked like crap.

Even though we got past all of the obstacles, I was clearly carrying a baggage of negative thoughts and emotions about all of it!

It showed. It showed in how I showed up as a competitor.  It showed up in how I trained leading up to the show, it showed in how I managed my time and how I prepared.

I was actually hoping for a better showing. WHAT????  Hope is a horrible strategy in the dressage arena.

Sure, I worked out and studied the tests, went through a lot of the motions I normally do but not like a winner.  I did it like I had quit ahead of time.

• This is our first show in Florida.
• I don’t know anyone.
• We have never been to this arena.
• We have not been able to ride like we normally do.
• We have been through a lot in 90 days.
• There is no reason to think we have a chance.

All of these thoughts seem so benign, like they don’t really mean anything.  They seem almost factual…almost.

The truth is that none of these thoughts were useful, at all, and all of these thoughts took hold and for sure my results proved all of these thoughts to be true.

Circumstances are neutral…they are neutral until you think about them.  It’s very important to separate your thoughts from your circumstances.  That is a key first step to the process.  See if you can pick out the thoughts from the circumstances in my list above and then come right back here.

“This is our first show in Florida, we have never been to that arena were the only circumstances.”  The rest were all thoughts and it is important to understand that thoughts are optional.  Meaning, you get to choose the ones that serve the results that you want.  Your thoughts bubble up the emotions that you feel. Scared, nervous, anxious, excited, lonely, etc…Your emotions become the fuel for the actions that you take or the action that you don’t take. Of course, your action or inaction drives your outcomes and results.

It’s so critical to separate your thoughts about your circumstances from your actual circumstances.  Let’s make it easy. Circumstances are just facts, not the drama, just the facts.  Circumstances can be proven in the court of law.  “This is our first show in Florida” is true, can be proven, it’s a fact. “We have not been able to ride like we normally do” is a thought about my circumstances but it’s not fact, just a thought. Now, I might believe that it’s a fact, but it’s not, it’s just a thought. When I think that thought, “I feel unprepared.” I feel unprepared.  My actions were that I trained like I was not preparing, I show up small like I don’t want to be seen and when I show up small my result is that we didn’t show like we normally do.  We are normally smooth and very connected. We were not.  We were jiggy!  Here is what it looks like in the thought model:

Circumstance: Moved to Florida 90 days ago.
Thought: I have not been able to ride like I normally do.
Emotion: Unprepared.
Action: Didn’t train like we normally train, showed up small.
Result: We did not show like we normally do.

Do you see how my thought was proven to be true? This is everything people. This is the formula!

So here is the lesson…

When we fail miserably, and we will, we need to look for the lesson, find the teacher.

If we are not failing we are not growing, and we are not living the human experience.

To be living the human experience we have to feel it all.  The fear, the anxiety, the doubt, all of it.  We have to feel it and know that we are going to be OK.  We need to feel it and then ask where the thought causing the feeling is coming from.  What is it?  We need to call it out, identify it and then change it.

You see, if the thought that you are thinking is not serving you then you need to find a thought that will.  You have 70,000 thoughts swirling around up there, surely one of them will serve you better.

Our brain actually wants us to land on the negative one, my brain wanted me to not go at all.  I waited until the last day to enter.  I normally enter a month ahead of time.  Our brain has a negative bias.  It will direct us to the evidence of all of the negative thoughts.  That’s what has kept up alive and evolving for thousands of years.

Your brain does not know that you aren’t really in danger that you are just afraid to drive to a place you have not been to before.  Your brain thinks that is too risky and should not be done, it thinks there might be danger lurking.

My brain went nuts with stinking thinking.  Guess what kind of results you get with stinking thinking?

I learned a lot.  Failure can teach us a few things if we are open to showing up as a student.

I learned that I need to clean up my thinking, I need to eat right, sleep more and drink less.  I need to train better and most of all, do the thought work until it’s a core belief.

We get really good at whatever we practice the most.

That weekend I practiced being brave. That sounds so nice doesn’t it? But think about it. In order to be brave and courageous you have to be experiencing fear and anxiety first.

It’s about being in that moment where you need to decide the thought that is going to serve you because your brain is serving up all of the evidence that you should quit and go home, start crying and just throw in the towel.

Your brain wants to prove your thoughts true so let it, but find another thought.

Here is a thought model for my future self:

C: We just moved to Florida 90 days ago
T: I am excited to get plugged back in to the sport I love so much
E: Excited, energized
A: Train right, eat right, do thought work
R: I will get plugged back in to the sport I love so much!

Decide on the thought that will make you feel brave and bold and courageous.  Practice that, over and over and over.  Soon, a new more useful emotion will surface and become fuel for action which will drive outcomes.

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!!

Posted in goals, motivation

This Amazing Life

  • Take a chance.
  • Feel the fear.
  • Do it anyway.
  • Instead of fear, be excited.
  • Know it always works out.
  • Know that you can handle it if it doesn’t.
  • Have an idea.
  • Don’t play safe, play fair.
  • Do it again.
  • And again.
  • Make someone’s day.
  • Let that fill you up.
  • Do it again.
  • And again.
  • Have an idea.
  • Lose sleep with excitement.
  • Wake up dying to tell someone.
  • Do it again.
  • And again.
  • Spend your money on things you think will fill you up. Eat the food, drink the drinks, watch the shows. Spend your time scrolling through the lives of everyone else while ….NEVER!!!!!
  • Take a class.
  • Buy a book.
  • Try something.
  • Feel frustrated that it’s hard.
  • Be unsure that it’s your thing.
  • Be afraid  you’re never going to be as good as…
  • Do it again.
  • And again.
  • Take another class.
  • Start showing up differently – to your job, your family, your life.
  • Wear the good clothes.
  • Sing out loud in the car. Even though you aren’t alone.
  • Stop and doubt sometimes.
  • But then do it anyway.
  • Feel like you’re getting pulled back in.
  • Shake it out.
  • Submit a piece of writing.
  • Or a piece of art.
  • Start the blog.
  • Write the book.
  • Start the podcast.
  • Email your heroes.
  • Do a happy dance when they reply.
  • Try something that doesn’t work.
  • Wonder if you should give it all up.
  • Open your inbox to a message from someone telling you that you changed their life.
  • Take a deep breath.
  • Do it again.
  • And again
  • Take 1 step toward your future you
  • Take more steps.
  • Realize that the only thing standing in your way is you.

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!

Posted in goals, motivation

Scarcity! Who? Me?

Do you walk around wondering if there is enough oxygen for you and me and the world?  You might, but probably not.  Why not?  Because we have a mindset of abundance when it comes to oxygen.  We might question the quality but not the availability.

Now, imagine we are scuba diving.  Suddenly I experience a malfunction of some sort and you need to share your oxygen with me.  I bet your mind would immediately go to thoughts of “what if I don’t have enough for me?”

Totally normal by the way.  Not offended.

This is a great illustration of the difference between a scarcity mindset and an abundant mindset.

You can almost feel the anxiety and stress of a diver having to share oxygen, scarcity.  In contrast, we go through our days not even thinking about how much oxygen there is. You can also feel the freedom and ease of not worrying about oxygen and knowing that there is plenty for everyone, abundance.

How does this show up in the work place?

The scarcity mindset has a very difficult time sharing recognition, sharing credit and being happy for anyone else’s good fortune.  We can feel like their gain is our lack, or that there isn’t enough for everyone and someone else just got the best part.  There is a sense of a lack of resources and few options to choose from.

An abundant mindset, in contrast flows out of a deep sense of self-worth and security.  It comes from a place of plenty for everyone.  It easily and genuinely shares in prestige and recognition and is open to possibilities, options, alternatives and creativity.

How does this show up in other areas?

  • Maybe we become jealous of the amount of time one friend spends with another.
  • Maybe we are trying to lose weight but can’t fathom throwing food away so we consume it.
  • We go out go out to eat and immediately order the cheapest thing on the menu.
  • Maybe we talk negatively about someone who just bought the house of their dreams or the car of their dreams or just got the job of their dreams.
  • Maybe we feel rushed and often feel like we are running behind.
  • We feel lonenly or have a need, but don’t want to “put anyone out.”

What’s the problem with a scarcity mindset?   Doesn’t seem incredibly harmful right?

Wrong

A scarcity mindset is a fear-based thought loop.  It’s a thought error.  It makes you show up small, it illustrates your lack of self-worth, it steals your joy from living, and helps you make horrible decisions.  It keeps you from experiencing all the abundance that the world has to offer.

You can’t invite more into a mindset of lack.

What to do?

I have three tools you can use immediately to start showing up with an abundant mindset.

  1. Awareness  Of course, awareness is key to everything.  You can’t fix what you don’t know is broken.   Be aware of complaining, criticizing, condemning others.  Be aware of the company that you keep, mindsets are contagious.
  1. Attitude of gratitude  Choose to see all that you have.  Gratitude actually positively rewires the pathways of your brain.  When you switch your thoughts from “I want” to “I have”, cool stuff happens.  Try it.  See the message in the mess.
  1. Give  It may feel counterintuitive but the best way to feel abundant is to give.  Give what you want more of.  If you feel underappreciated, offer appreciation to someone else.  Don’t feel like you have enough time to get your stuff done?  Help someone get something off of their plate.  Don’t feel like you have enough money?  Give to someone less fortunate, and there is always someone less fortunate.  Giving put you into an abundant mindset almost immediately.

Now go be an abundant, goal getting, goal digger!!!