Posted in goals

Success Strategy

Success is earned through challenging, mundane, unexciting, uncomfortable, unsexy, frustrating, laborious and sometimes defeating work.  Freaking hard work!

Success is achieved through the compound effect of doing it every day.  Showing up 1% better today than yesterday.  Doing it again tomorrow and every day after that.

Success is accomplished in the thoughts that you think, the uncomfortable emotions you are willing to feel and the action, the massive action that you take.   

Success is made one choice at a time. 

  • The choice to make one more call to close the deal,
  • The choice to turn around and say I am sorry instead of storming out the door,
  • The choice to drink the water and pass on the cookie,
  • The choice to let it go,
  • The choice to see the other side,
  • The choice to keep going when you feel like quitting,
  • The choice to be tired and scared and lonely and do it anyway,
  • The choice to get up and work out and eat clean even when it’s hard, especially when it’s hard,
  • The choice to live the human experience fully and intentionally and by design.

Trump your brains motivational triad of seeking pleasure by seeking growth, of avoiding pain by being willing to be uncomfortable, to conserve energy by taking massive action.

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!!

Ready to get goaling? Click here and let’s get to work!

Posted in goals

Preparing to Fail

Have you ever been looking forward to something soooooooo much and then the thought of being disappointed, let down or failing shows up and just flat out takes the wind out of your sails?

Instead of psyching ourselves up and getting into the mindset of success, we psych ourselves out, and get into the mindset of failure and we lower our expectations, so we aren’t disappointed.

That my friends, is failing ahead of time. 

So what does it look like?

Maybe you are going for a job you have always wanted or a promotion or you are gearing up for a first time anything in your life.   You are really excited, you are imagining success, and then you start thinking…”this is not going to happen so why get excited about it?  What if it doesn’t happen after all, what will people think, I better not tell anyone just in case, or, I will be happy if it doesn’t happen, just being here or getting this far is enough.”

We want to prevent disappointment and so we prepare ourselves, we let ourselves down easy, just in case this thing doesn’t work out.

Last night as I was sharing some stories with a ladies group, I noticed a thread of psyching myself out all through my story. 

It’s not easy to see because it’s a habit.  It feels like a normal and wise thing to do.  But when I was talking out loud, I heard it in my story and it struck me that I had missed out on all of the exciting emotions that come from anticipating positive outcomes at the risk of being disappointed and maybe risking failure. 

I failed ahead of time.

Do you do that?  Listen to your inner critic.  Does she temper your excitement over the prospect of success so that you don’t feel the pain of failure?  Listen closely to your conversation. 

Do you hear things like…

  • “I don’t expect anything really”
  • “I just want to have fun.” 
  • “It’s not that big of a deal, it’s just for fun.” 
  • “I don’t want to get too excited about it, it might not happen.”
  • “I don’t want to get my hopes up.” 
  • “Things like this don’t happen to people like me.”

What would happen if you psyched yourself up instead of psyching yourself out?  How would it feel to be immersed in a positive thought river and emotions of excitement, delight and anticipation?  What is the worst thing that could happen?

Why do we choose to level set our emotions with disappointment before we have even done the thing?

This is why…our brain wants to prevent us from feeling pain, any pain, even emotional pain.  It’s your brain’s motivational strategy of seeking pleasure, avoiding pain and conserving energy.  By default, humans are more inclined to go towards the negative thought process, it’s safer.  We aren’t at risk of rejection, fear and disappointment if we set it up ahead of time.

When it comes to your own thinking it’s hard to see your own shenanigans but it is so easy to see it in others.  Listen for it…be a watcher of your own thoughts and watch for it.

When you catch yourself psyching yourself out, stop, ask yourself if you like feeling disappointed in advance?  Don’t be surprised if you feel more comfortable with disappointment but challenge yourself to find a different emotion.

You have an opportunity to feel anything you want while you are waiting for the outcome.  What do you want to feel?  You can choose to feel excitement, enthusiasm, and delight in anticipation of the outcome.  

There are enough opportunities for feeling disappointment that happen naturally, no need to choose that one ahead of time.

Be excited, get your hopes up, make it a big deal, have expectations…

Now, go be a psyched up, goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!

If you liked this blog, let me know.

If you are ready to get goaling, let’s work together! Click here for the many ways we can get this thing done!

Posted in goals

Nothing is Too Good to be True

“I knew it was too good to be true,”  “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”

What terrible thoughts!  Unfortunately, I have thought it and said it myself.

It’s a skeptical view-point and a scarcity mindset that something seemingly fine must have something wrong with it.

It’s a belief that nothing is as good as it seems, or worse…that you aren’t worthy of receiving anything so good and favorable, so it must not be true!!!!

Now I am not talking about things that are false being true, I am talking about legit, real things feeling too good, and/or being so close to what we want that we back away because, well…”it’s just too good to be true.”

So we fail ahead of time because we don’t want to be disappointed.  We don’t go for the job, or invest emotionally into the relationship or jump into the new business, even when we see evidence that we are on the right path, we dismiss the evidence as, “too good to be true.”

That thought is just a thought put there by your brain as an effort to keep you safe, from feeling fear and rejection and feeling anxiety, it’s your brains motivational triad at work, and that’s OK. 

Doesn’t mean you have to listen, doesn’t mean you have to respond, and it doesn’t mean it’s even true.

The truth is that “nothing is too good to be true” is a thought that you can choose to think as you approach your goals and objectives. 

As you start down the path of up-leveling your life, becoming your future you, you are going to come face to face with opportunities and advantages.  Recognize them and take them.  They are not too good to be true, this is the way that the universe works.

Try thinking the thought that “nothing is too good to be true” over and over, write it out over and over.  Feel the peace that comes from thinking a thought like that, see if you  start seeing opportunities and advantages coming your way.

My husband and I made a major life decision last year and almost as soon as we decided the “what” the “how” started presenting itself.  We started seeing opportunities that we could explore, and take advantage of.  We didn’t get emotionally challenged or charged by any of the several opportunities available.  We didn’t dismiss any of them as too good to be true either.  In fact, our approach is that we are open to all of it and nothing is too good to be true.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” It’s true!

The science behind it is tied to your thoughts. Your brain wants to prove your thoughts true. Think the thoughts on purpose that you want to see come true.

It was still scary, but fear is just a vibration in the body, it doesn’t hurt.  It is exciting and excitement is just a vibration in the body as well. It was hard but only when I thought the thought, “this is hard.” When I focused on how easy things were coming together, guess what? Things came together very easily.

I proved all of my thoughts true during the entire process. Now, that doesn’t mean that I was proud of every moment. Not at all! I am still human. But for sure, I was very aware of my brain proving my thoughts true.

What makes you feel good or bad, is the thought that you choose to think. 

Somehow, we humans got the idea that we should only have good thoughts and things would be easy and fun and daisies and rainbows in pursuit of our goals and dreams.

That’s not true.  Pursuing your goals and dreams is scary, and exciting and hard and requires growth and you get tested and you fail, you learn and you try again and you grow again and then you get there and think…huh, that wasn’t so bad, what’s next?

So my friends, nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, is too good to be absolutely true!

Now, go be a goal getting, goal setting, goal digger!!!

Posted in goals, motivation

Goals Manifesto Blog #1 for 2019

To kick off the New Year, I want to share my philosophy about goals. Last year blew my mind, this year is going to be even better!

Here is my Goals Manifesto for 2019!

Goals are meant to give your life direction, dimension, and texture. 

Goals are meant to guide you on the path of becoming the person that you want to be, exactly how you want to show up.

Goals are not about where you come from, but where you are going. 

Goals are not only about what you have or have not accomplished, but what is possible. 

Goals are not meant to defeat, but to inspire. 

Goals are not going to motivate you, you must move forward and invite motivation to follow. 

Merely having a goal will not get you to the destination. 

Missing the target or destination by your specified time is not a measure of failure, it’s a matter of timing. 

As much as achievement counts, who I become along the way is by far more significant. 

There is no end-point, I will always be striving for growth in different areas of my life at different times. 

I accept that with every goal achieved I will have a different level of responsibility and for that reason, I will be responsible with the goals that I set. 

“In 2019 my objectives will be met because I am going to carefully choose and manage my thoughts by selecting the appropriate emotions that will serve me.  By being selective in my emotions I will choose actions that support my goals and as a result I will achieve and exceed my own expectations.”

Posted in goals

Last Blog of 2018!!!

This is the last blog for 2018.  Last year I set out to put as much value into the universe as possible with as much free content as possible.  This year, I am going to up that output! 

I published 69 blogs this year, next year will be 104.  Last year I did three live workshops.  This year I will do 52 Facebook live sessions!


Here are a few things we will talk about…

Failing on purpose, creating your future you and being her/him now, energy hacks, procrastination, money mindset, confidence, when to quit your goals, constraint, overwhelm, the compound effect, time management, self-sabotage, organization, goal shaming….and so much more!!!

This has been an incredible year.  Between moving to Florida and all that goes with that, changing roles at work, and all that goes with that, learning how to work remote, and all that goes with that, this year feels a little blurry.

Maybe yours does too!

I am going to take some time and write it all down.  Get my thoughts out on paper so that I can organize them and really see what all happened this year.

I urge you to do the same.  Write it all down!

What did you accomplish, acquire and achieve? 

Sometimes, unless we see it on paper, it doesn’t feel like we got anything done.  You did!

Let’s make next year the best year ever and the year after that, better than the year before.

Decide who you want to be, how you want to show up in the world, start living your life be design!

This year stop living at the cause and effect of live and start causing the effect in your life. 

Happy New Year!

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!

Posted in goals

Whatever You Focus on Grows!

Have you ever known someone that just never seemed to have issues?  No drama, nothing bad ever happened, their life just seemed charmed.  Even when things do happen, they just seem to be able to know how to handle it, it gets handled and they move on.  Their bumps in the road seem so small and insignificant compared to ours.

Whatever you focus on grows…good or bad!

Most of us are experts at what is going wrong in our lives, I do it all the time.  That’s why it feels like we get one issue behind us and then there is another. 

When I focused on debt, it grew!  When I focused on how crappy my life was, I felt even worse.  When I focused on all the mistakes I have made, I made even more bad choices.

It has 100% to do with where the focus is.  Where the focus is, the energy goes.  Where your energy is, your actions and habits go and that creates your results and outcomes.

It’s a cycle of habitually focusing your energy on the wrong thing. 

Whatever we spend the most time thinking about is what we nurture and what we nurture, we manifest. 

The good news is that we can also use this theory to design the life we want to live and get the things we want.

Want better outcomes?  Think better thoughts! 

We always have a choice of looking at what is possible and investing in the thoughts that serve all of the possibilities, but out brain is built on a negative bias.

Do you find yourself saying things like, “What do I have to lose?” or “What’s the worst that could happen?”

These questions seem benign but they are not.  These types of questions actually create the limitation ahead of the pursuit of your goal. What???

When you ask your brain “what do I have to lose, or what’s the worst that can happen” your brain goes to work giving you the answer and constructs the worst case scenarios and presents them to you in the form of negative thought loops. 

Stinking thinking creates stinking result!  100% every single time.

The good news is that when we focus on what is possible, our brain starts working towards that.   Your intuition takes over and starts figuring things out, starts showing you the way.  Your gut instinct kicks in and decisions are made and your grit grows and you start taking massive action.  

  • What area of your life do you want to see a positive difference?
  • What are the questions to ask yourself to focus your energy toward attracting your outcome?
  • Take action based on those questions.

So here are some questions to ask yourself instead:

  • What do I have to gain?
  • What will be the benefit?
  • Who else will have gain and benefit?
  • What is the best case scenario?
  • Where are there other opportunities for gain that I have not thought about?
  • What can I think right now to attract the outcome I want?

The right questions lead to the right energy and focus and that leads to the results and outcomes we want. 

Remember, whatever you focus on grows.

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!

Posted in goals

Thought Errors

I don’t want to set big goals, I would miss out on too much.

I don’t want to work that hard.

There’s more to life than, making more money, getting fit, doing the thing…

My family is too important to me to have a goal like that.

A goal like that means working harder than I am interested in.

You care more about money than other things.

Having a goal to make more money means you are forgetting what matters.

Having a goal like that means you don’t have your priorities straight.

What are your thought errors?  Click on the link to learn what a thought error is and what to do about them.

Go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger

Posted in goals

Three Steps to an Abundant Mindset

Do you walk around wondering if there is enough oxygen for you and me and the world? You might, but probably not.  Why not?  Because we have a mindset of abundance when it comes to oxygen.  We might question the quality but not the availability.

Now, imagine we are scuba diving.  Suddenly I experience a malfunction of some sort and you need to share your oxygen with me.  I bet your mind would immediately go to thoughts of “what if I don’t have enough for me?”

Totally normal by the way.  Not offended.

This is a great illustration of the difference between a scarcity mindset and an abundant mindset.

You can almost feel the anxiety and stress of a diver having to share oxygen, scarcity.

In contrast, we go through our days not even thinking about how much oxygen there is. You can also feel the freedom and ease of not worrying about oxygen and knowing that there is plenty for everyone, abundance.

How does this show up in the universe?

The scarcity mindset has a very difficult time sharing recognition, sharing credit and being happy for anyone else’s good fortune.  We can feel like their gain is our lack, or that there isn’t enough for everyone and someone else just got the best part.  There is a sense of a lack of resources and few options to choose from.  We can even feel jealous.

A scarcity mindset floods you with indulgent emotions like anxiety, worry, self-doubt and confusion. It keeps you in a state of indecision.

A scarcity mindset blocks your joy, impedes your ability to really show up the way you need to in order to achieve the things you want.

• Maybe we become jealous of the amount of time one friend spends with another.
• Maybe we are trying to lose weight but can’t fathom throwing food away so we consume it.
• We go out go out to eat and immediately order the cheapest thing on the menu.
• Maybe we talk negatively about someone who just bought the house of their dreams or the car of their dreams or just got the job of their dreams.
• Maybe we feel rushed and often feel like we are running behind, soooo busy!!!!!

What’s the problem with a scarcity mindset?  Doesn’t seem incredibly harmful right?


A scarcity mindset is a fear-based thought loop.  It’s a thought error. It makes you show up small, it illustrates your lack of self-worth, it steals your joy from living.  It keeps you from experiencing all the abundance that the world has to offer.

You can’t invite more into a mindset of lack.

An abundant mindset, in contrast flows out of a deep sense of self-worth and security.  It comes from a place of plenty for everyone.  It easily and genuinely shares in prestige and recognition and is open to possibilities, options, alternatives and creativity.

Here are three steps you can take immediately to start showing up with an abundant mindset.

1. Awareness
Of course, awareness is key to everything. You can’t fix what you don’t know is broken. Notice complaining, criticizing, condemning others.  Be aware of the company that you keep, mindsets are contagious.

2. Attitude of gratitude
Choose to see all that you have.  Gratitude actually positively rewires the pathways of your brain.  When you switch your thoughts from “I want” to “I have”, cool stuff happens.  Try it.

3. Give
It may feel counterintuitive but the best way to feel abundant is to give.  Give what you want more of.  If you feel underappreciated, offer appreciation to someone else.  Don’t feel like you have enough time to get your stuff done?  Help someone get something off of their plate. Don’t feel like you have enough money?  Give to someone less fortunate, and there is always someone less fortunate.  Giving put you into an abundant mindset almost immediately.

Watch my Facebook live video where I explain thought errors.

Now, go be an abundant, goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!

Posted in goals

Transformation Tuesday

What do you  want?  I mean, really, really, really want?  How do you want to show up in  your life,  with friend’s,  at work,  with the kids,  with the spouse in the community, in the universe?

We are afraid to ask sometimes, we are afraid to imagine or dream about  a life that is beyond our thoughts about our life.  We fear rejection,  embarrassment and humiliation.  We think the dream life is for others.

We ruminate on what others might think if we start chasing a dream or start working for that impossible goal.

So we don’t…

We fail ahead of time talking ourselves out of even trying to up-level our lives because we can’t imagine it would even be possible to have what we really want.

We talk ourselves out of it with our thoughts and emotions and then the behaviors and actions support the thoughts, and the result is… more of the same.

Rinse and repeat!

Your thoughts are the lens into your life.   I want you to become very aware of what you are thinking.   What do you say to yourself?  What is your tone of voice when you talk to yourself?

Your results will  prove your thoughts true 100%…every time!!!  That is the best news!!!!

“I can’t, I don’t know how, I am not sure?” None of these thoughts serve you, EVER!

No one ever figured anything out saying, “I can’t.”  Here it is in a model;

  • Circumstance:  I want ______________ (add whatever you want here)
  • Thought:  “I don’t know where to start” or “I can’t”
  • Feeling:  Whatever feeling that thought makes you feel insert here
  • Action/Inaction:  Do nothing
  • Result:  Don’t achieve or acquire of accomplish the thing

I can help you stop that thought model and create the thoughts that serve you!

Have you heard about Transformation Tuesday?

Tune in to Facebook every Tuesday for the next year and we are going to talk about all thing goals.  Even if you think you have a handle on goal setting, tune in. I promise to teach you in a way you have never experienced.

Here is a link to last Tuesday where we kicked it off. Transformation Tuesday

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger.

Posted in goals

Don’t Get Caught In The “Gap Trap”

When you think about where you are now and where you want to be, it’s easy to start to feel like your goal is out of reach. 

You may even have thoughts like, “people like me don’t make that kind of money, or lose that kind of weight or get that job or have that relationship.” 

You name it, we all have that “things like that don’t happen to people like me” sentence.

The larger the gap between where we are and where we want to be, the more we begin to doubt and question whether is it possible at all. 

At the risk of sounding like a broken record,  there are two reasons for that…

  1. You are human, and
  2. You have a brain

Yep, your brain is going to take every opportunity to try and get you to hit that easy button, go back to drinking beer, eating Cheetos and watching Entertainment Tonight.  Is that even on any more?

Back to the blog…

When the journey takes longer than expected, we end up feeling disappointed, we beat ourselves up, and jump into the self-pity pool…

and that my friends is the gap trap!

How many times have you started to learn a new thing like playing an instrument, or riding a horse or how to lose weight?  It didn’t happen fast enough and so you gave up. 

Think about that thing…what is that thing that seems like it is meant for someone else but you really, really, really want it too? 

For me, it was the thought of being a horse woman and showing horses. 

I would envy the girls with horses that could carry themselves with elegance, had amazing gaits, could back up around barrels, could gracefully lope off from a walk. 

I would watch other riders who seemed to know exactly what to do and when to do it. They seemed to be at one with their partner. 

What I saw in them, and where I was at that time, was a huge gap.

You see, the first lesson that I took at the age of 53, I fell off of the mounting block and under the horse.  Not once, not twice, but three times.  God bless that horse! 

I didn’t have a pedigree horses.  I had a backyard pasture accident that I bought from a sale barn.  Now, I couldn’t even get on a horse using a mounting block!

I had every reason to think that I was not meant to be a horse woman.  I had every reason to not go back the next week.  I was embarrassed, I felt humiliated and I was sore as hell! 

You might be feeling like that now. 

It’s OK.  It does not mean anything, so don’t make it mean anything.  Ok, well maybe it means that you need to practice at the mounting block a little more than you had originally planned, but that is all that it means. 

What to do?

Focus on getting better every day.  Better at becoming the person that loses the weight, gets the job, starts the business, launches a program, rides the horse. 

Visualize you’re being that person every day and do one thing every day that gets you closer to being that person.

Don’t lose sight of the big thing, but day to day, focus on the habits you can create and the progress that you are making. 

Think the thoughts that serve your goal, not your gap.

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!

Posted in goals, motivation

What Thought Do You Want To Prove True?

“I don’t like to travel” is just athought.  “I am a homebody” is just another thought.  Sounds so benign, and harmless.


When I travel, and I think the thought that  “I don’t like to travel or that I am a homebody,”  I feel anxious.  When I feel anxious, I don’t explore or take advantage of the surroundings.  I don’t enjoy the process of the packing and the planning.  The result is, I don’t enjoy traveling.

Notice how the result proves my thoughts true!  Your thoughts always prove your yours true!

That’s my old story… an old belief that I wanted to change.  Steve loves to travel and we have always had opposite thoughts about travel.  

So how does a“homebody, none-traveler” change their belief, the story?  Starts with athought, of course.

Changing your thoughts will for sure change your results. 

New thought: this trip is going to be fun

Feeling:  excited to explore new things

Action: go check things out when I get there

Result:  I enjoy traveling, and I have fun

It’s not as easy as it sounds but it is that simple.  

What do you want the result to be? 

What thought do you want to prove true?

Choose wisely because you are going to prove a thought true, which one will it be?

When I really deep dive into my thoughts around travel, I realize that I have certain things that I do look forward to doing.  I even have some rituals…

I get my hairdone, do my nails, buy comfy jammies.  I love buying airport sweatshirt.  I love them!  Trying airport food.  Airports have great restaurants if you are open to trying them out.  I’m on a quest for the best airport burger.  I love checking out the fitness rooms at hotels and for sure love a bed I don’t have to make!

I would still put  myself in the category of homebody.  Meaning,that I love being at home most of the time.  But now I can honestly say that I also do enjoy travel!

And the truth is, I travel a lot.  I travel for work, to visit my family, going to horse shows…I am sometimes gone more than home, too much to not enjoy every moment and be thankful for the opportunity to do the things that I get to do.  

So, even though I am a homebody, I love when I get to travel!

Now,  go be a goal setting,  goal getting,  goal digger!!!

Posted in goals, motivation

Results Prove Your Thoughts True…Choose Your Thoughts Wisely

I have been preaching for almost a year now that if you want different results, you have to start with your thoughts.  I had to really swallow my own medicine two weeks ago like never before.

I am exhausted and my body hurts and I failed miserably to show up like I needed to in order to have a successful Western Dressage show.

I can literally trace my thoughts back to more than two months ago when Kit stopped sweating and acquired the most amazing rain rot due to the relentless humidity.

We couldn’t ride, she looked like crap.

Even though we got past all of the obstacles, I was clearly carrying a baggage of negative thoughts and emotions about all of it!

It showed. It showed in how I showed up as a competitor.  It showed up in how I trained leading up to the show, it showed in how I managed my time and how I prepared.

I was actually hoping for a better showing. WHAT????  Hope is a horrible strategy in the dressage arena.

Sure, I worked out and studied the tests, went through a lot of the motions I normally do but not like a winner.  I did it like I had quit ahead of time.

• This is our first show in Florida.
• I don’t know anyone.
• We have never been to this arena.
• We have not been able to ride like we normally do.
• We have been through a lot in 90 days.
• There is no reason to think we have a chance.

All of these thoughts seem so benign, like they don’t really mean anything.  They seem almost factual…almost.

The truth is that none of these thoughts were useful, at all, and all of these thoughts took hold and for sure my results proved all of these thoughts to be true.

Circumstances are neutral…they are neutral until you think about them.  It’s very important to separate your thoughts from your circumstances.  That is a key first step to the process.  See if you can pick out the thoughts from the circumstances in my list above and then come right back here.

“This is our first show in Florida, we have never been to that arena were the only circumstances.”  The rest were all thoughts and it is important to understand that thoughts are optional.  Meaning, you get to choose the ones that serve the results that you want.  Your thoughts bubble up the emotions that you feel. Scared, nervous, anxious, excited, lonely, etc…Your emotions become the fuel for the actions that you take or the action that you don’t take. Of course, your action or inaction drives your outcomes and results.

It’s so critical to separate your thoughts about your circumstances from your actual circumstances.  Let’s make it easy. Circumstances are just facts, not the drama, just the facts.  Circumstances can be proven in the court of law.  “This is our first show in Florida” is true, can be proven, it’s a fact. “We have not been able to ride like we normally do” is a thought about my circumstances but it’s not fact, just a thought. Now, I might believe that it’s a fact, but it’s not, it’s just a thought. When I think that thought, “I feel unprepared.” I feel unprepared.  My actions were that I trained like I was not preparing, I show up small like I don’t want to be seen and when I show up small my result is that we didn’t show like we normally do.  We are normally smooth and very connected. We were not.  We were jiggy!  Here is what it looks like in the thought model:

Circumstance: Moved to Florida 90 days ago.
Thought: I have not been able to ride like I normally do.
Emotion: Unprepared.
Action: Didn’t train like we normally train, showed up small.
Result: We did not show like we normally do.

Do you see how my thought was proven to be true? This is everything people. This is the formula!

So here is the lesson…

When we fail miserably, and we will, we need to look for the lesson, find the teacher.

If we are not failing we are not growing, and we are not living the human experience.

To be living the human experience we have to feel it all.  The fear, the anxiety, the doubt, all of it.  We have to feel it and know that we are going to be OK.  We need to feel it and then ask where the thought causing the feeling is coming from.  What is it?  We need to call it out, identify it and then change it.

You see, if the thought that you are thinking is not serving you then you need to find a thought that will.  You have 70,000 thoughts swirling around up there, surely one of them will serve you better.

Our brain actually wants us to land on the negative one, my brain wanted me to not go at all.  I waited until the last day to enter.  I normally enter a month ahead of time.  Our brain has a negative bias.  It will direct us to the evidence of all of the negative thoughts.  That’s what has kept up alive and evolving for thousands of years.

Your brain does not know that you aren’t really in danger that you are just afraid to drive to a place you have not been to before.  Your brain thinks that is too risky and should not be done, it thinks there might be danger lurking.

My brain went nuts with stinking thinking.  Guess what kind of results you get with stinking thinking?

I learned a lot.  Failure can teach us a few things if we are open to showing up as a student.

I learned that I need to clean up my thinking, I need to eat right, sleep more and drink less.  I need to train better and most of all, do the thought work until it’s a core belief.

We get really good at whatever we practice the most.

That weekend I practiced being brave. That sounds so nice doesn’t it? But think about it. In order to be brave and courageous you have to be experiencing fear and anxiety first.

It’s about being in that moment where you need to decide the thought that is going to serve you because your brain is serving up all of the evidence that you should quit and go home, start crying and just throw in the towel.

Your brain wants to prove your thoughts true so let it, but find another thought.

Here is a thought model for my future self:

C: We just moved to Florida 90 days ago
T: I am excited to get plugged back in to the sport I love so much
E: Excited, energized
A: Train right, eat right, do thought work
R: I will get plugged back in to the sport I love so much!

Decide on the thought that will make you feel brave and bold and courageous.  Practice that, over and over and over.  Soon, a new more useful emotion will surface and become fuel for action which will drive outcomes.

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!!

Posted in goals

Why Hitting Your Goals Feels Like Crap

So here is the scenario:
• You lost the last 10 pounds and you thought you would finally love your body and you don’t.
• You married the man of your dreams and thought your life would feel complete and it doesn’t.
• You had the baby you longed for and hoped that you would feel fulfilled and now you feel like crap because you don’t.
• You changed jobs in hopes that you would feel appreciated, but you don’t.
• You built the business that you dreamed of hoping it would make you feel relevant, but it doesn’t.

There are times that we seek goal after goal after goal, hoping that something will make us feel happy, feel peace, feel content, feel comfortable, feel complete, feel better.
There are times we put our sights on a goal, and that goal becomes the place that when we will finally get there, we know, we just know, we will feel differently. But we don’t
We hit the target, and after a period of joy and as a little times goes by, we can feel like something went terribly wrong because you don’t feel any of the things that you expected.

What happened? Turns out, there are two reasons.
1. You are human
2. You have a brain

This is going to sound cliché and it is, sorry. Your goal is not, I repeat, NOT about the destination, it’s all about the journey. It’s all about the person that you become along the way, about how you evolved as a human, about the emotions that you experience…the good and the bad. It’s all of that, and the thing? Well, that’s just icing on the cake so to speak. Sorry about all the clichés

So why bother with a goal? You must set a goal, that is what sets our compass, gives us a focus, a map. Goals give us flavor and texture in life. You are going to do something; it might as well be intentional.

Here is where goaling goes all wrong.

We think that reaching that goal is going to make us feel better, and it won’t. Oh, maybe for a little while you can smell that new car smell and smell that new house smell and the new relationship is oh soooo good. But once the newness of the goal wears off, if you brought your un-useful thoughts and emotions with you, guess what? Yep, the same ole crappy life shows right back up.

So what is a person to do?

“Think the thoughts now that make you feel now the way you think you will feel when you hit that goal.”

Read that last part again and at least 5 more times. Let that sink in.

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!

Posted in goals

When Things Start To Suck

When Steve and I decided to explore the opportunity to move to Florida earlier this year, we received tons of confirmation from the universe that we were on the right track.

Or did we?

If you have been following our story for a while, you know that Steve got a job in Florida almost immediately…that’s a good sign. I was able to stay with my job and work remotely…that’s a good sign. We sold our house in a day, totally amazing and that’s a good sign. We bought a house in an equestrian community and can board our horses for $100 a month.

So what about when it just feels like nothing is going your way?  Does that mean that you made a bad decision?

We have had to deal with replacing the septic system, fire ants, rain rot, heat exhaustion, scratches, stocked up legs, non-stop rain and for sure the hardest work I have ever had to do taking care of my horses…EVER.

When it feels like nothing is going your way, look at what you are thinking. You might be thinking that nothing is going your way and for sure that will be your result.

Your results always prove your thoughts true.

Here is how it works:

Circumstance – Something happens, pick anything from my list above.
Thought – We must have made a bad decision
Feeling – Feels like nothing is going our way
Action – Second guess our decision
Result – Convinced we made a mistake

As humans, when we think about living our dream, we think it’s going to be all sunshine and daisies, rainbows and unicorns.  So, when it’s not, we can feel like we screwed up somewhere, made a bad decision and we start second guessing everything.

Think about an Olympic athlete winning a gold medal. While standing on the podium, they are in the height of the glory of living the dream. But think about all hard work to get there.  Most days were sore muscles, no sleep, managing their diet, scrimping money for training etc…

If the athlete would be thinking the thought, “I must have made a bad decision,” how long do you think they would stay on their journey? Not long.

There is no reason to think that you would be able to stay on your dream journey with that thought either!

Remember, thoughts are optional, and you must choose the thought that is going to get the result that you want.

So, what to do? Manage your thoughts!!

Sure, it’s been tough but there have been tons of learning and opportunities to exercise my thought muscle.

Obstacles just become your “to do” list, your strategy, a map.

Learn how to take care of horses in heat and humidity, get smart about fire ants, be thankful you have money to replace your septic system even if that’s not what you wanted to spend that money on.

Those are the thoughts that serve me.

Second guessing decisions serve no purpose.

Just because stuff happens does not mean that you have made a bad decision or that anything bad has happened, you make it mean something by your thoughts.

Things always work out the way that they should, they just do.  Hang on to that thought when it gets tough.

Look for the opportunity to learn and grow. Look for the opportunity to stretch yourself in an area that serves you.

Don’t always be looking for the easy button. Growth is not there!

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!

Posted in goals

Fire Your Manager and Up-Level Your Life!!!!

I love it when businesses post “under new management” notices. It lets us know that changes have been made and you can expect an up-leveled experience. We can expect things to be different…better.

Bad service is a sign of bad leadership. You can almost picture the manager or leader style just by watching their staff or team and how their business performs.

Every time!

Soooo, that got me to thinking about the manager or leader of your life.  YOU!

What is your current style? Do you demonstrate compassion and love for yourself or do you demonstrate self-pity and doubt, fear and anxiety? Are you doing OK at least 80% of the time or is it more 30-50% of the time. Do you have room for improvement or are you exceeding your own expectations?

Would you be satisfied of your favorite restaurant was doing OK only 30-50% of the time?

What if you managed your life with the same high-level expectations that you have for others in your life?

What if you managed your thoughts to only those that served you? Notice that I said “served you.”

Your management style is creating results in your life. Do you like the results?
Your management style is reflected back to you in real time by the quality of your relationships, the quality of your health, the quality of your work-life, the quality of the food you choose, the quality decisions that you make.

Are you happy with your management style or do you need and evaluation, a review, a remediation plan to improve?

What is your mission statement? Your purpose? Every business has them.

“You are your business.”

I had to fire the manager of my life. The one that offered worry and anxiety as an appropriate emotion most days. I had to fire the manager that didn’t know how to manage thoughts and chose to think the worst of everyone, everything and lived in isolation emotionally. I fired the manager that didn’t make appropriate fuel choices for my body and fuel choices for my brain. I had to fire that manager with a scarcity mindset around time, money and relationships. She is gone! She does not get to manage my life any longer.

I have super-duper high expectations of my new manager. She must make commitments to herself and keep them. She must have her own back. She is not allowed to entertain thoughts that don’t serve her. She is totally allowed to feel negative emotions and be with them as long as she needs to but is not allowed to buffer in response to being with them. She must manage her mindset around money, time and relationships. She must show up every day in a way that serves the universe.

I love my new manager!

Do you need to fire your manager to up-level your results?

Go have a meeting with yourself today. Write up your expectations, purpose and mission statement.

Now go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!