Posted in Abundance, goals, motivation

Story VS. Facts

There are facts and then there is the story that we create about the facts.  Facebook Live Replay.

Facts don’t hurt.

It’s the stories we tell ourselves about the facts that create the pain. Our brain has a negative bias… it will naturally go to the gloom and doom story, the one with drama.

  • Fact:  He is late
  • Story:  He is late because he doesn’t care about me or respect my time.  I can’t take it anymore!
  • Fact:  Boss said words
  • Story:  Boss doesn’t appreciate anything I do, he’s always on my case and never recognizes me.  I am not dealing with this anymore!
  • Fact:  Husband says words
  • Story:  He is always mad at me, takes his bad day out on me, doesn’t love me.  I am done!
  • Fact:  scale says I weigh 180
  • Story:  I have no willpower, I will never hit my weight goal, it’s too hard to lose weight around my familyI might as well give up!

Facts are boring, stories are compelling.

We are all living lives that we have created with our thoughts. So, if you are not excited about an area of your life, my question is, what’s the story you have created?

I have had stories for things that have happened in my life almost all of my life. It’s human nature to create stories. When it becomes an issue is when we start living at the effect of the stories we tell ourselves.

  • We create stories that we are not good with money or with time.
  • We create stories that we can’t lose weight and keep it off.
  • We create stories that people are disrespectful and toxic.
  • We create stories that we are victims.
  • We create stories that we have no will power or discipline. We create stories that we are too busy and overwhelmed.
  • We create stories that make us feel that we have been taken advantage of and betrayed and cheated.

Our thoughts are our stories but that does not make any of it true!

Does that story even serve you? If it does, how? What is the upside to the story. If it works for you then keep it, if not, let’s get to work on it.

You can’t manage boss, husband, neighbor, dry cleaning lady etc…you can only manage the thoughts in your head, the sentences that you join together and the story that you create.

You can take responsibility and ownership of the story, you can decide how you want to feel about the circumstance and show up from a space of emotional adulthood.

Ask yourself this…

If you did not have the story, who would you be?  Who could you be without the story?

We have the option of having a thought and keeping it neutral or making it mean something.  We don’t have to add drama to the thought with a story.

The story that you tell about your life, your relationships, your circumstances, become what you invite and create and attract more of.

Your story about the circumstance is creating your reality.

Ready to up level your reality?   Change the story worksheet

 

Posted in Abundance, goals, motivation

How Do I Attract Things To Me… Exactly?

We are energy!  We have energy running through us. If you doubt me, rub your feet on some carpet and touch a another person.  ZAP!

When you think a thought, you create an emotion which is a vibration in your body.  Yep!  You can feel it if you sit and be with your feelings for a while.

Maybe you will feel it in your head, or maybe your stomach, maybe your knees get week, maybe your throat gets tight, maybe your chest gets tights.

Something happens viscerally.

Your emotions become fuel for the way that you show up and present yourself.  Emotions fuel your action or inaction, and that my friends is how we generate, create,  and invite the results that we get.

You literally put off a vibration that attracts like vibrations.

Think about a time that you have walked into a meeting room or any room full of people.  Think about the different vibes you got from different people.  Some people were probably warm and friendly and some were not.   Depending on what they were thinking, they were feeling a certain emotion, and that emotion was emitting a vibe.

Now imagine that you are trying to get a job or a promotion or attract wealth into your life.  If you are showing up with a chip on your shoulder, mad at the world or jealous of everyone else’s good fortune, what do you think you are inviting?

  • We invite lack by thinking about all the things we don’t have
  • We invite scarcity by talking about what we can’t afford
  • We invite drama by talking about other people and their drama
  • We invite anxiety and overwhelm by stating those emotions as how we feel

Whatever you focus on grows.  Have you ever noticed that?  Try it.

Try going through the day and noticing all of the things that you love.  Be very aware of all of the things that you see, feel, taste, smell…all of it.  Write it all down all day long.

At first it will not come easy and then as you go along throughout the day, things that you love will feel abundant.

It works in reverse too…

The day starts out terribly and just gets worse.  You get to work and nothing goes right.  The whole day feels off and you just want this one to end so that you can start over.

What is the difference?  Your thoughts!

Sure, things happen, they happen to all of us.  What we think, and what we make them mean about us, and how we respond, is what sets the rest of the day up.

We can either invite more of the frustration or we can stop, take a deep breath, find a thought that flips the script and invite what we want instead.

Like attracts like.  We have all heard that, but here is how it works.

If you are feeling happy and energized your give off that “vibe” (this is not woo, it’s science) and you attract people and experiences that are on the same current, the same frequency.

If you show up grouchy and pissy, you forecast that vibe in the way you walk, the way that you talk and the way that you move through your space.  Even if you try to mask it…you are not fooling anyone!

You attract more of the same experiences that are on that frequency.  You also attract the people who love nothing more that to be pissy and grouchy with you!  Misery truly does love company.

Attracting, inviting and creating abundance in any area of your life is not complicated.  It is only complicated by our thoughts.

We think in order to feel better, we just need to find a new job or make our boss understand or get through to our spouse and co-workers.

Nope, the only thing you need to do is manage you… manage your thoughts.

Now, saying that, doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it is the way the Universe works!

So, exactly how do you invite more of what you want into your life?  Gratitude!  Yep, turns out, that is the quickest way to up-level your vibe.

Gratitude cannot exist in the same space as anxiety, frustration and overwhelm.

We can get so easily distracted by the wanting of more and feeling of lack and scarcity.  But when we stop and sit in a space of gratitude and thankfulness for what we have,  we are given even more to be grateful for.

Managing your thoughts takes practice, you don’t get good at it over night, but…  I am here to help!

Click here to watch my Facebook Live Transformation Tuesday Virtual Workshop on Money Mindset.

Posted in Abundance, goals, motivation

What Are The Top Three Emotions Fueling Your Actions Today?

My business coach asked this question Monday and it stopped me in my tracks.

“What are the top three emotions fueling your actions today?’

I got out my notebook and went to work.

As soon as she asked that question, I knew I had work to do.  I have been operating from a space of worry, overwhelm, anxiety, frustration and impatience.  That’s never going to be the best fuel choice for the actions required to generate the result that I want to create.

Just like a snicker bar is a horrible choice to fuel your body for a marathon, fear based emotions are not the best choice for fueling your actions when you are trying to accomplish a goal.

Regardless of the goal, regardless of the circumstance, there are better options.

Think about the result that you want to create and think about what you believe you would need to do, think about the actions that you would need to take in order to create that result.

Now ask yourself if the way you are feeling right now is going to inspire the action that needs to be taken.  For me the answer was no way.

I have been thinking thoughts like “this is hard, there is not enough time, this is taking longer that I want, this is exhausting, this is expensive, this is annoying, contractors are annoying”….guess how I show up?

Impatient, snarky, snotty, grouchy, frantic, frustrated, annoyed!!!

None of my actions taken from that place would be inspired or massive.

The action would most likely be frantic or maybe even not action.   Not a good recipe for the result that I want to create.

Here is the thing that I want you to take away.  You are human, you have a brain, it thinks 65,000 thoughts a day.  Some of those thoughts are going to dominate and surface and create negative, fear based emotions.  That doesn’t mean that you have to abdicate your human experience to them.

You get to decide.

You get to decide the human experience that you want to have.

I was texting my thought model to my husband yesterday and interestingly, he was going through a similar sequence of thoughts and emotions.  So layer on two people feeding off of each other and this remodel was for sure on track to being a horrible experience.

We know it’s going to get done whether we enjoy the process or not.   We can stop and pivot and choose our thoughts more wisely and choose thoughts that energize us or we can be miserable for the next 60 days.  The decision is ours.

Here is why it’s so important to manage the thoughts on the journey.  It’s not going to feel like a positive outcome if the experience was negative.  The experience during the process of creating any result is where the lessons are, where the growth is, regardless of the outcome you are trying to create.

This applies to everything.

Sometime when I ask people what they are thinking, they don’t know.   We can get so busy that we find ourselves living at the effect of what is happening to us and what I want to show you is that nothing is just happening to you, it’s also happening through you.  Through your thoughts, feelings and actions.

The best way to know what you’re thinking is to look at the results in your life.

Your results reveal your most significant thoughts.

This applies to all of the great things that you are creating and all of the not so great things that you are creating.

What you weigh, how much money you have in your bank account, where you live, who you’re married to, how many friends you have, your possessions, where you work, the car you drive, the clothes you wear, the state that the house is in, what your pantry looks like, what your day looks like, what your calendar looks like.

All of it, those are all results. Your accomplishments, your achievements your acquisitions, what you have created, invited and attracted.

I really want you to notice all of the amazing results you have  created, but I also want you to look at it as if it’s just math.

These are the positive results that I’ve created because I’ve thought positive thoughts, and these are also the results I’ve created because I’ve let negative thoughts take root in my day, week, month, year and I have let negative thought dominate and fuel my actions.

And here’s a cool trick for you to look at when you’re looking at your thought models. If the feeling driving your actions is a positive emotions, you will most likely see the result as positive.

So if you have positive thoughts like, I love my job and you feel excited and motivated and you go to work and produce enough value to get let’s just say $100,000, my guess is from that model, you’ll be super happy with that thought model.

It doesn’t mean you don’t want to make more than $100,000, but you’re super happy.

What I want you to see is that you are  happy because you’re fueling that result from positive emotion.

Now, someone else could have the exact same result of making $100,000 and if what is fueling their result is negative emotion, their outcome is not going to feel positive at all. They could be fueled by greed, revenge, desperation, anger, resentment, any or all of it.  They are going to think about that $100,000 result totally differently being fueled from negative emotions.

What I am sharing with you is the difference between a mindset of abundance and a mindset of scarcity.  It sounds like it’s a lesson on positive and negative…it’s not.

When we are experiencing negative emotions, we are coming from a place of fear which drives scarcity and lack.  Lack of time, lack of money, lack of resources, lack of energy, lack of patience, lack of creative ideas…all kinds of lack.

When we are experiencing positive emotions, we are coming from a place of love which drives abundance.  Plenty of time, money, energy, favor, patience, ideas…all kinds of abundance.

When we try to reach our goal though grit, desperation, deprivation, frustration etc…we might still create the result but it won’t feel like a positive result because of the fuel…the emotions.

So think about a result that you want to create and think about the emotion that you want to be driving that result.

Now, this doesn’t ,mean that worry and doubt won’t come up, they will.  But when you are fueled by a deeper emotion, the ones that you choose, you will be able to cause the effect in your life.

Brooke Castillo~ “I just got asked this on a podcast, what is the most important indicator of long-term success, and I said the emotion fueling the activities.”

I really wanted to share this real time experience with you so that you could see the before, during and the after effect of me going through a transformation and  be encourages and inspired on your own journey to choose the emotions that are going to serve you, on purpose

The ones that I am choosing on purpose are patience, love, gratitude, confidence, courage, maturity, responsibility and abundance…all of it!

Ready to get to work?  See what others are saying…

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