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Posted in Abundance, goals, motivation

What Are The Top Three Emotions Fueling Your Actions Today?

My business coach asked this question Monday and it stopped me in my tracks.

“What are the top three emotions fueling your actions today?’

I got out my notebook and went to work.

As soon as she asked that question, I knew I had work to do.  I have been operating from a space of worry, overwhelm, anxiety, frustration and impatience.  That’s never going to be the best fuel choice for the actions required to generate the result that I want to create.

Just like a snicker bar is a horrible choice to fuel your body for a marathon, fear based emotions are not the best choice for fueling your actions when you are trying to accomplish a goal.

Regardless of the goal, regardless of the circumstance, there are better options.

Think about the result that you want to create and think about what you believe you would need to do, think about the actions that you would need to take in order to create that result.

Now ask yourself if the way you are feeling right now is going to inspire the action that needs to be taken.  For me the answer was no way.

I have been thinking thoughts like “this is hard, there is not enough time, this is taking longer that I want, this is exhausting, this is expensive, this is annoying, contractors are annoying”….guess how I show up?

Impatient, snarky, snotty, grouchy, frantic, frustrated, annoyed!!!

None of my actions taken from that place would be inspired or massive.

The action would most likely be frantic or maybe even not action.   Not a good recipe for the result that I want to create.

Here is the thing that I want you to take away.  You are human, you have a brain, it thinks 65,000 thoughts a day.  Some of those thoughts are going to dominate and surface and create negative, fear based emotions.  That doesn’t mean that you have to abdicate your human experience to them.

You get to decide.

You get to decide the human experience that you want to have.

I was texting my thought model to my husband yesterday and interestingly, he was going through a similar sequence of thoughts and emotions.  So layer on two people feeding off of each other and this remodel was for sure on track to being a horrible experience.

We know it’s going to get done whether we enjoy the process or not.   We can stop and pivot and choose our thoughts more wisely and choose thoughts that energize us or we can be miserable for the next 60 days.  The decision is ours.

Here is why it’s so important to manage the thoughts on the journey.  It’s not going to feel like a positive outcome if the experience was negative.  The experience during the process of creating any result is where the lessons are, where the growth is, regardless of the outcome you are trying to create.

This applies to everything.

Sometime when I ask people what they are thinking, they don’t know.   We can get so busy that we find ourselves living at the effect of what is happening to us and what I want to show you is that nothing is just happening to you, it’s also happening through you.  Through your thoughts, feelings and actions.

The best way to know what you’re thinking is to look at the results in your life.

Your results reveal your most significant thoughts.

This applies to all of the great things that you are creating and all of the not so great things that you are creating.

What you weigh, how much money you have in your bank account, where you live, who you’re married to, how many friends you have, your possessions, where you work, the car you drive, the clothes you wear, the state that the house is in, what your pantry looks like, what your day looks like, what your calendar looks like.

All of it, those are all results. Your accomplishments, your achievements your acquisitions, what you have created, invited and attracted.

I really want you to notice all of the amazing results you have  created, but I also want you to look at it as if it’s just math.

These are the positive results that I’ve created because I’ve thought positive thoughts, and these are also the results I’ve created because I’ve let negative thoughts take root in my day, week, month, year and I have let negative thought dominate and fuel my actions.

And here’s a cool trick for you to look at when you’re looking at your thought models. If the feeling driving your actions is a positive emotions, you will most likely see the result as positive.

So if you have positive thoughts like, I love my job and you feel excited and motivated and you go to work and produce enough value to get let’s just say $100,000, my guess is from that model, you’ll be super happy with that thought model.

It doesn’t mean you don’t want to make more than $100,000, but you’re super happy.

What I want you to see is that you are  happy because you’re fueling that result from positive emotion.

Now, someone else could have the exact same result of making $100,000 and if what is fueling their result is negative emotion, their outcome is not going to feel positive at all. They could be fueled by greed, revenge, desperation, anger, resentment, any or all of it.  They are going to think about that $100,000 result totally differently being fueled from negative emotions.

What I am sharing with you is the difference between a mindset of abundance and a mindset of scarcity.  It sounds like it’s a lesson on positive and negative…it’s not.

When we are experiencing negative emotions, we are coming from a place of fear which drives scarcity and lack.  Lack of time, lack of money, lack of resources, lack of energy, lack of patience, lack of creative ideas…all kinds of lack.

When we are experiencing positive emotions, we are coming from a place of love which drives abundance.  Plenty of time, money, energy, favor, patience, ideas…all kinds of abundance.

When we try to reach our goal though grit, desperation, deprivation, frustration etc…we might still create the result but it won’t feel like a positive result because of the fuel…the emotions.

So think about a result that you want to create and think about the emotion that you want to be driving that result.

Now, this doesn’t ,mean that worry and doubt won’t come up, they will.  But when you are fueled by a deeper emotion, the ones that you choose, you will be able to cause the effect in your life.

Brooke Castillo~ “I just got asked this on a podcast, what is the most important indicator of long-term success, and I said the emotion fueling the activities.”

I really wanted to share this real time experience with you so that you could see the before, during and the after effect of me going through a transformation and  be encourages and inspired on your own journey to choose the emotions that are going to serve you, on purpose

The ones that I am choosing on purpose are patience, love, gratitude, confidence, courage, maturity, responsibility and abundance…all of it!

Ready to get to work?  See what others are saying…

Transformation Tuesday Replays

 

Posted in goals, motivation

This Amazing Life

  • Take a chance.
  • Feel the fear.
  • Do it anyway.
  • Instead of fear, be excited.
  • Know it always works out.
  • Know that you can handle it if it doesn’t.
  • Have an idea.
  • Don’t play safe, play fair.
  • Do it again.
  • And again.
  • Make someone’s day.
  • Let that fill you up.
  • Do it again.
  • And again.
  • Have an idea.
  • Lose sleep with excitement.
  • Wake up dying to tell someone.
  • Do it again.
  • And again.
  • Waste your money on things you think will fill you up. Eat the food, drink the drinks, watch the shows. Spend your time scrolling through the lives of everyone else while ….NEVER!!!!!
  • Take a class.
  • Buy a book.
  • Try something.
  • Feel frustrated that it’s hard.
  • Be willing to be really bad.
  • Be unsure that it’s your thing.
  • Be afraid  you’re never going to be as good as your mentor.
  • Do it again
  • And again.
  • Take another class.
  • Start showing up differently – to your job, your family, your life.
  • Wear the good clothes.
  • Sing out loud in the car. Even though you aren’t alone.
  • Stop and doubt sometimes.
  • But then do it anyway.
  • Feel like you’re getting pulled back in.
  • Shake it out.
  • Submit a piece of writing.
  • Or a piece of art.
  • Start the blog.
  • Write the book.
  • Start the podcast.
  • Email your heroes.
  • Do a happy dance when they reply.
  • Try something that doesn’t work.
  • Wonder if you should give it all up.
  • Open your inbox to a message from someone telling you that you changed their life.
  • Take a deep breath.
  • Do it again.
  • And again
  • Take 1 step toward your future you
  • Take more steps.
  • Realize that the only thing standing in your way is you.

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!

Posted in goals, motivation

When Is It Time To Give Up?

Interesting Question

I had an interesting question the other day from a student.  She was asking if she should give up on her goal.  She wanted to know if all of the obstacles she is facing is a sign from the Universe that she should stop chasing her dream.

My answer….NO WAY!!!!

Let me be so perfectly clear here.  The Universe NEVER conspires against you…EVER!!!!

The only one who ever conspires against you, is you!  Not other people, not obstacles, just you!

Once a dream is placed into your heart and it is met with passion that burns in your gut, it is yours to claim.

It is human nature to look for signs of being on the right path to our goal.  We also look for signs that we are on the wrong path.  In fact, almost as soon as you have a desire and put it in writing, you start seeing opportunities appear and this gives you assurance that you made a right choice.  But as soon as it gets hard or we start facing obstacles, self-doubt shows up to talk us out of it.

We start looking for evidence that something has gone wrong.

What’s Going On

Here is what is happening…

Our primal brain is surveying and always looking for the risk, the danger and serving up information to us like it the news and that it’s all true.  Then we are adding our thoughts and interpreting the information as being good or bad, positive or negative or neutral by the thoughts that we have about the information that we were given.

When things get hard, we start feeling resistance, we start second guessing our good judgement, we start over analyzing, we start filling up with self-doubt, we start thinking something has gone wrong.

Our brain is just trying to talk us out of our goal in order to keep us safe from some of the uncomfortable emotions we are bound to feel on this journey. Our brain wants us to go back to bed, watch Netflix, drink beer and eat Cheetos.

As humans, we think that our target should be a straight shot, and should be all sunshine, daisies, rainbows and unicorns as lone as we are on the right path.  We start to feel like something has gone wrong as soon as it gets hard.

The opposite is true…

As soon as it gets hard and you feel resistance, you are right on track!

There are so many lessons to be learned on our journey to becoming the person that can create the result we want.  If we were already that person, if we had already grown and evolved, we would have already created the result.

What you are feeling is resistance.  When you feel the resistance and self-doubt and confusion and all the other things show up, lean in.  Embrace it and open up to the lesson right in front of you.

Consider the notion that the resistance that you are experiencing is an indicator and that all it is..  It’s an indicator that you are on the right track, heading into growth, the lesson is straight ahead and lean in.

If you recall last year Steve and I made the decision to move our fur family and ourselves to Florida, half way across the country.  We didn’t know how, we just knew what.  Within days of the decision, opportunities to make that dream a reality were presented to us.  We saw everyone of them and jumped, both feel.

Here is the deal…we weren’t looking for signs, we weren’t second guessing any decision, even when things got hard and ugly and challenging…and they did.

We made decisions that we loved and we made decisions that we didn’t love and then made different decisions that we loved.

You should go watch the replay if you have not seen it.

You are smarter and stronger than you think and you are braver than you will have to be on this journey.

I knew moving my two horses would be a challenge and it was.  I knew I had to be brave and do it anyway.  What I learned in the process of figuring it all out, I could not have learned by quitting, by turning around and going back.  When I leaned into the fear, I saw the lessons.  I learned that it wasn’t as hard as I was making it, and I didn’t have to be nearly as brave as I expected.

So, What Do I Do?

No one gets a straight shot to their target.  The obstacles on the course are there to encourage growth, evolve you and create an experience that allows you to show up as your highest and best self, even when it’s hard, even when you feel like quitting, even when you experience failure and doubt and worry.  Even when…

We spend way tooooooo much time avoiding failure and the truth is that you cannot have success without failure.  It’s not going to feel good all the time, it’s going to be painful at times and yet, it’s supposed to be exactly like that.

If it’s not, your goal isn’t big enough, you are under-dreaming, under-goaling, underestimating your own worth and value and talent and gifts.

When you spend your time trying to avoid failure, you are also avoiding success.  You can’t have one without the other my friends, it does not work that way.

Embrace it, lean in and go claim you prize!

Transformation Tuesday Replays.

Posted in goals, motivation

Who Do You Have To Become?

When you think about your goals and living your life by design, what comes up for you?

Do you think about what you HAVE to have ?  Maybe you start thinking about what you HAVE to do?  You might even think about the HOW.

I know when I think of a big goal, one of those that seems totally impossible, my brain always asks me, “how do you plan and doing that?”

What if you shifted the focus to WHO?  Who do you HAVE to become?

Whatever your goal is…

Who do you have to become?  Who will you be when you get their?  How will you have transformed yourself?  What transformations will you have experienced to get there?  What kind of things do you have to let go of?  What self-limiting beliefs are not serving you?  What new beliefs do you need to believe?  What do you need to learn?  How many times are you willing to fail?

What do you need to think in  to create the result that you want?

  • To become a fit and healthy person, you need to think like a fit an healthy person.
  • To create a loving and kind relationship, you need to think like loving and kind person.
  • To be a successful entrepreneur, you need to think like a successful entrepreneur.

So how do you do that from where you are now?  How do you do that on your journey to becoming the new version of you, the one that created the result?  How do you do that when you have never done that before?

One step at a time, one decision at a time, one useful thought at a time!

If you are stuck, ready to get it in gear, ready to start living your life by design instead of default…ping me!

I am offering a free 30 minute session to work out your kinks and get you on the goal track.  Click here to set up your free session.  Click here to find out what it’s like to work with me.

 

Posted in goals, motivation

Job Love

Do you get the Sunday  night blues, every night of the week?

Do you vent about your boss or the company or co-workers?

Do you dread the workday?

Do you feel disengaged?

We all do from time to time, that’s why vacations or so useful.  But, if you find yourself in this state most of the time, it’s time to do something about it.

Now most of the time people think they need to get a new job or get a new boss but I don’t think that is necessary at all!  I think you need to get a new mindset!

This is the one area that you can experience the most profound transformation in the shortest period of time and experience the biggest benefit…overnight.

I normally say that thought work is simple but it’s not easy.  In this case, not only is this thought work simple…it’s a piece of cake.

Why is it important to step into this work?

  • We spend a lot of time at work, too much time to not enjoy it.
  • When we vent to others, there is no upside, in fact, we bring them into our negative energy.
  • To wake up in dread every day is a total waste of your life and for sure you are dragging that into work with you.
  • Lack of engagement spreads and breeds like bacteria, you don’t want to be the carrier.
  • If you want to make more money, get a promotion or even get a better job…you will need a new mindset.

Now some of you might think that if you had a different boss or different co-workers that you would not need a new mindset.  That is actually not true.  In fact, if you do not work on your mindset now, you will just carry this baggage with you and eventually you will find yourself in a job you don’t like working with people you don’t like.

It’s true!

So many of us have the idea that it’s our boss’s job, our company’s job, or our co-workers responsibility to make us feel motivated, inspired, fulfilled, relevant, respected, appreciated, utilized, liked, satisfied valued etc…

That my friends is an inside job.

It has never been and it never will be anyone’s job, or responsibility to make you feel anything about your job..that can only come from you.

This is the best news ever, because when you are dependent on someone else to make you feel better, you will always be let down and disappointed.  When you assume responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings, you are empowered and not at the effect of someone else.

When you change the way that you look at things, the things you look at change…

When you think a thought like, “My boss is an idiot and a micro-manager,” how does that make YOU show up in the workplace?  How does that thought contribute to YOUR results?  Probably not getting the best results right?  I know that you think you can hide your feelings well and that it does not affect your work…your are so wrong.  It shows up, it’s not a secret.

And remember, your brain wants to prove your thoughts true (confirmation bias).  Your brain will serve you all the evidence that you need in order to keep thinking that your boss is an idiot and a micro-manager, even when it’s not true!!!!

It works the other way too…

What if you tried on the thought, “My boss is knowledgeable and interested in my work.”  When you think that, how does that feel?  How do you think that you would show up differently?

As you think that thought, your brain will also serve you evidence that those thoughts are true too, even if they are not!  I ask you, which thought serves you better?  It is that easy!

I am so convinced that I can help you make an overnight transformation in this area that I am willing to help you out for free!  That’s right.  I will work with you for 30 minutes at no charge and no obligation and we will get you into the right mindset so that you can learn to love your job, your boss and your co-workers.  All you have to do is let me know and I will schedule your free session.

When you are able to step into the person who takes ownership of your own emotions, you are able to create any result that you desire.

Sign me up for my free session.

Watch the Transformation Tuesday Replays here.

Posted in goals

Rinse and Repeat Cycle of Life

Our brain is an amazing organ but it also gets us into sooooo much trouble when not managed.  We can get caught in a cycle of buffering and then our days are very much a rinse and repeat of behaviors and actions that don’t serve us.

The why is because of our brain’s motivational strategy to seek pleasure, avoid pain and to conserve energy.

Here is how it happens…

We see food, we eat food, we feel good, then when we feel bad, we want to feel good,  so we eat more food…repeat.

Insert any other buffering behavior.

  • We see cool guy smoking, we want to be a cool guy, we smoke, we feel cool…repeat!
  • We see pretty lady, we want to be pretty lady, we shop for pretty clothes, we feel good…repeat!
  • We see classy lady drinking pretty drink, we want to be classy, we drink, we feel classy…repeat!

This is reward based learning and our brain is very good at it.  What happens though is that when we do these things at the effect of our sub-conscious, we over-indulge in almost every area.

Instead of learning how to cope with emotions and situations, we buffer until we feel better.

I love this quote “you can never get enough of what you don’t need, because what you don’t need doesn’t have the power to satisfy you.”-Dallin H Oaks.

You can add over working, over working out, watching too much TV, playing video games too much.  Anything that we do to soothe our emotions, distract us from feeling bad, or entertain us when we are bored is a buffering behavior.

I know I talk a lot about mindfulness and you can’t pick up a self-help book without reading about mindfulness.  It is the first step in changing anything that needs to be changed.  It’s the first step to a more evolved you.

The truth is that you can’t change anything unless you are aware and you understand what is driving your behavior or habit.

We tend to beat ourselves up and get so hard on ourselves when we buffer but beating yourself up does not serve you when it comes to changing behavior.

What we need is a new thought and a new emotion.

Let’s try this emotion…curiosity!

Be curious about the thoughts and emotions that are that are driving your buffering behavior.  Your thoughts can come in the form of a question and guess what?  You have changed your emotions and your thoughts, from whatever it was, to curiosity.

We can’t continue to call ourselves names like loser, fatty, good for nothing, ugly, nerdy, useless, worthless.  We can’t keep saying “I can’t, I don’t understand or I don’t know how”.

Instead, be curious.  “I wonder why I feel restless, I wonder why I feel bored, I am curious why this event is so difficult, I wonder….”

I have done this and for sure it’s really hard to continue beating yourself up while you are exploring.

Buffering to make the emotions go away does not make the emotions go away, it just makes us not feel them…for now.

Click here to watch Transformation Tuesday Facebook Live Replays

Posted in goals, motivation

10 Ways We Quit Ourselves

In my blog, “Why Can’t I Get off My A&$”, I explained the brains Motivational Triad as the reason why our motivation wanes.

Maybe this resonates with you:

  • You plan on sticking to a meal plan but then you break and abandon the plan.
  • You intend on finishing projects on time but then, well… you don’t
  • You plan on reading more, meditating, yoga…you know, all that “good for the soul” stuff, and then you get too rushed, too busy, too tired.
  • You say you are going to work out at least four days a week and that plan falls short most weeks. Continue reading “10 Ways We Quit Ourselves”
Posted in goals

Goals Reboot

It’s the middle of the year and maybe by now you have tossed your goals to the side. 

Maybe you are on track, but losing steam. 

Maybe you are ahead of the game, but could use a reboot.

Let’s do it!  A reboot that is.  

Click here to watch the Transformation Tuesday FB Live all about rebooting your goals.

Working towards a goal can be exhausting…especially when we don’t see the results we want.  This is a great time to remind you that the person that you are becoming on the journey, on the path of your goal, is the prize!

If you were to race to the end, you would miss the middle part, and that is where your success is created.  

Success is earned through challenging, mundane, unexciting, uncomfortable, unsexy, frustrating, laborious and sometimes defeating work. 

Freaking hard work!

Success is achieved through the compound effect of doing it every day.  Showing up 1% better today than yesterday.  Doing it again tomorrow and every day after that.

Creating your dream life, accomplishing your goals, acquiring the things…all of it is accomplished in the thoughts that you think, the uncomfortable emotions you are willing to feel and the action, the inspired, massive action that you are willing to take.   

It all happens one decision at a time. 

  • The decision to make one more call to close the deal,
  • The decision to turn around and say I am sorry instead of storming out the door,
  • The decision to drink the water and pass on the cookie,
  • The decision to let it go,
  • The decision to see the other side,
  • The decision to keep going when you feel like quitting,
  • The decision to be tired and scared and lonely and do it anyway,
  • The decision to get up and work out and eat clean even when it’s hard, especially when it’s hard,
  • The decision to live the human experience fully and intentionally and by design.

Alright, now get our your Impossible Goals Worksheet and let’s get goaling…don’t know where it is?  Click here.

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!!

Ready to get goaling? Click here and let’s get to work!

Transformation Tuesday Virtual Goal Setting Workshops Replay

Posted in goals

Your Future You Requires You To Lose

Becoming your future you requires you to lose a few things in order to create room for your growth.

Kind of like cleaning your closet of the old wardrobe to make room for the new one.  You must shed the old you, the one with the habits and the thoughts that don’t serve the result that you want to create for your future self.

People think that once they get the job, get the raise, get the perfect boss or spouse or find the perfect friends…that they will the become a different person, a happy person and full-filled and satisfied person.

The opposite is true…we must become the person that can attract, create and invite the life and the results that we want.

  • You must lose the self-doubt and self-limiting beliefs.  Make room for confidence and new beliefs that create the results.
  • You must lose the overwhelm, confusion and indecision.  Make room for inspired and massive action.
  • You must lose the attachment to anxiety, worry and fear to take brave and courageous steps.
  • You must lose self-pity and self loathing to invite self-love.
  • You must lose the resentment that you have for yourself and others and create your results from a place of compassion and love.
  • You must lose the blame and shame and guilt and accept responsibility for the life you want to create

You cannot create, invite or attract a life of abundance from a place of negative emotions.

You cannot beat yourself up, blame others and be at odds with the world and create the results that you want.

Join the Abundance Warrior Boot Camp and start creating the results you want today!

Link to Transformation Tuesday Facebook Live Replays

 

Posted in goals

Why You Aren’t Creating The Results That You Want and…What To Do!!!!

  1. Your thoughts are not in alignment with the results you want.
  2. You spend more time thinking about what you don’t want instead of what you do want.
  3. You set goals from a space of should instead of want.
  4. The company you keep is not in alignment with your goals.
  5. You spend no time visualizing your results.
  6. You feel guilty about your goals.  Again, thoughts and feelings are out of alignment with the result you want to create.

For example…

You want to save money but you are thinking thoughts like, “I deserve to treat myself, I work hard”  or “I’ll just splurge this once, I’ll start over next paycheck”

If thinking about saving money makes you feel deprived, you aren’t in alignment with an abundant mindset.  You are putting a kink in your hose of abundance.

Those thoughts and feelings do not align with your goal to save money, so you don’t.  In fact, you do the opposite, you spend, which moves you farther from your goal of having money.

It’s same for wanting to lose weight, getting the new job, making more money, attracting the love of your life.  The list goes on and on.

Your brain’s motivational strategy is to seek pleasure, avoid pain and conserve energy.  Your subconscious is where we operate 90% of our day.  That part of the brain knows nothing of delayed gratification and seeks immediate satisfaction.

So thinking from the primal part of our brain, we will always be at odds with our goals, we will feel at odds with ourselves!

When you spend your time thinking thoughts like, “I don’t want to be fat, I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to be broke…”  That is exactly what you are creating in your life.  You invite more of what ever you are thinking about.  What are you thinking about?

When you set goals from a place of I should lose the weight, or I should save more money, I should get a better job…instead of from a place of want, your brain thinks your should is optional.  Your brain won’t take that thought seriously.

Remember, your brain wants to prove your thoughts true…all of them!  But a should is only a suggestion, it’s not a commitment, it’s not a decision.

You have to spend time stepping into your future self by visualizing your goal from a place of already achieving it.  Visualize yourself at your ideal weight, making the money, having the career, having the relationship.  Do that often, daily even!

When we feel guilty for wanting to up level our lives, we are out of alignment with our goals.  We are putting a kink in the hose of abundance.  When you worry about what others will think if we lose the weight, get the job, move up in our careers, we lose the plot of our own life, the one we want to create.

Surround yourself with people who cheer you on, advocate for you and celebrate your success with you.

Are you ready for more?  More of whatever you want to create, invite and attract into your life?  Join my Abundance Warrior Boot Camp.  For a limited time, I am opening enrollment.  Are you ready?  Yes, I am ready!!!

Transformation Tuesday Facebook Live Replays

 

Posted in goals

Thoughts on Abundance

When you embody gratitude, you will be given more to be grateful about.

You are a divine power plant.

Taking 100% responsibility for your thoughts, your emotions and your actions up-levels your results.  100% of the time!

What you experience today is fruit previously planted.  What you plant today, you sow in the future.

If you want more to come into life, let more life come out of you.

A mirror can only reflect back to you what you what you are doing in front of it.  The world can only reflect back to you what you express into it.

You cannot invite abundance from a place of lack and scarcity.

The life you are living today is designed to keep you where you are.  It is designed to keep you in a state of survival, coping, avoiding pain, seeking comfort  and convenience.  You need to override this pattern, interrupt it and wake up your abundance warrior!

Watch the Transformation Tuesday Facebook Live on Money Mindset…soooooo good!

If you want to wake up your abundance warrior click here.  I only have one more spot in the “Abundance Warrior” Boot Camp.  It’s time to let go of your scarcity life and open up the flow of abundance.

 

Posted in goals, motivation

Everything is figure-out-able!

How many times do you catch yourself saying, “I don’t know or I can’t.”

Maybe it sounds like, “I don’t know why I just can’t lose weight?”  “I don’t know how to….”  “I don’t have enough time.”  “I don’t have enough money.”  ‘I can’t figure out how to…”

These thoughts give us permission to quit on ourselves because as long as we think that we don’t know how or we can’t, we don’t have to take action, so we don’t.

We let ourselves off the hook!  When we do that, we rob ourselves and the world the benefit of showing up as our best selves.

Repeat after me…”Everything is figure-out-able!”  I know that isn’t a real word, but it should be.

Watch what happens in your life when you stop saying “I don’t know or I can’t,” and you start saying, “I am going to figure this thing out.”

As much as your brain really, really, really hates it when you introduce goals that require change, your brain loves accomplishment.

When you figure this thing out, your brain will get a dopamine hit and ask, “what’s next?”

For whatever you want to do, there is a way!

Now go be “figuring it out” goal digger!

 

Posted in goals

I was a Beer Drinking, Cheetos Eating…

Got goals?

Maybe you don’t even know where to start, that’s common and quite normal.

Maybe you don’t think that you can reach your goal, so why have one, why bother? I call that, failing ahead of time.

Maybe you spend more time thinking about the things that you would like to do rather than actually doing them.

Maybe you let yourself off the hook by thoughts like “I don’t have time, or I don’t have talent, or I don’t have the money or resources. I have too many reasons why not to even think about the possibility.”

I know those thoughts because I had them. I had them all!  Totally human!!!

I was a beer drinking, Cheetos eating, ET watching individual.  No, not the movie Extra Terrestrial…Entertainment Tonight.

For my stretch goal, I would pick the weeds out of my yard…by hand.   Woohoo!

I could not, for the life of me, understand why I was OK with that.  Why didn’t I put myself out there, why didn’t I have goals and ambition and passion for something, what the heck was going on? What was wrong with me?

Turns out it was because I was human and had a brain…totally normal!!

My brain was wired to think the life that I wanted to live was too risky to go for.  It might mean that I would feel fear and rejection, anxiety, stress, sadness, that life might be challenging.  I had doubts about my value and worth.  So instead, I watched others, on TV, I watched their lives.  I lived through them.

Sounds depressing doesn’t it?  Actually, I wasn’t depressed at all.  Until I picked up a shelf-help book (that was not a typo), and began to read.  You see, I thought I could just read the books and feel better, do better, be better.

Turns out that you have to actually do the work and apply the work.

Crazy stuff I know but, unless you apply the work, it’s only a shelf-help book, and by the way, there is a reason it’s called “self-help.”  

I read, “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.  He said things like

“the starting point of achievement is desire.”

What did I desire? I had not even thought about it.  I knew what I didn’t want.  I didn’t want to be a burden to society, I didn’t want to be alone, I didn’t want to be talked about or laughed at, I didn’t want to feel bad and I didn’t want…

I only knew what I didn’t want, but I had no idea what I did want.  I desired to avoid pain, I was moving away from things that I didn’t want instead of moving toward things that I did want.

Another life changing statement was,

“Set your mind on a definite goal and observe how quickly the world stands aside to let you pass.”

Born my obsession with goal setting!

And then this one…

“Put your foot upon the neck of the fear of criticism by reaching a decision not to worry about what other people think, do, or say.”

SAY WHAT!!!

So how did I go from living at the effect of my circumstances to living a life by design, a life on purpose?

Lots and lots of thought work.  I mean tons of it, still do.

Then I had to learn to apply the work.  That is the hard part.  I had to stop waiting for life to happen and I had to start making life happen.

I had to show up bigger, put myself out there and be the person that was willing to be uncomfortable.

I had to learn that anything I wanted to feel was available to me by what I was thinking, then I had to learn how to manage what I was thinking, I am still learning…

I learned that whatever I focused on the most became reality.  Good or bad, it came to be.

Is my life perfect?  Heck no!  It never will be because I am not perfect, and life isn’t perfect and I don’t think that it is supposed to be.

Life is up and it’s down, it’s happy and it’s sad, it’s scary and it’s exciting, it’s difficult and it’s forgiving.  It’s a contrast in colors and emotions and thoughts.  That’s what adds texture and flavor to our lives.  It’s how we know we are living.

I still have fear of rejection and anxiety about tons of things, but I have learned that all of that is our humanness so that we can appreciate peace of mind, love, kindness, empathy, relevance and assurance when we are fortunate enough to experience that.

So, what do you desire?  What do you spend your time thinking about?  What is that nudge you feel from the universe every so often?  Are you moving away from something or toward what you desire?

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!

Posted in goals

Whatever You Focus on Grows!

Have you ever known someone that just never seemed to have issues?  No drama, nothing bad ever happened, their life just seemed charmed. 

Even when things do happen, they just seem to be able to know how to handle it, it gets handled and they move on.  Their bumps in the road seem so small and insignificant compared to ours.

Whatever you focus on grows…good or bad!

Most of us are experts at what is going wrong in our lives, I do it all the time.  That’s why it feels like we get one issue behind us and then there is another. 

When I focused on debt, it grew!  When I focused on how crappy my life was, I felt even worse.  When I focused on all the mistakes I have made, I made even more bad choices.

It has 100% to do with where the focus is.  Where the focus is, the energy goes.  Where your energy is, your actions and habits go and that creates your results and outcomes.

It’s a cycle of habitually focusing your energy on the wrong thing. 

Whatever we spend the most time thinking about is what we nurture and what we nurture, we manifest. 

The good news is that we can also use this theory to design the life we want to live and get the things we want.

Want better outcomes?  Think better thoughts! 

We always have a choice of looking at what is possible and investing in the thoughts that serve all of the possibilities, but out brain is built on a negative bias.

Do you find yourself saying things like, “What do I have to lose?” or “What’s the worst that could happen?”

These questions seem benign but they are not.  These types of questions actually create the limitation ahead of the pursuit of your goal. What???

When you ask your brain “what do I have to lose, or what’s the worst that can happen” your brain goes to work giving you the answer and constructs the worst case scenarios and presents them to you in the form of negative thought loops. 

Stinking thinking creates stinking result!  100% every single time.

The good news is that when we focus on what is possible, our brain starts working towards that.   Your intuition takes over and starts figuring things out, starts showing you the way.  Your gut instinct kicks in and decisions are made and your grit grows and you start taking massive action.  

  • What area of your life do you want to see a positive difference?
  • What are the questions to ask yourself to focus your energy toward attracting your outcome?
  • Take action based on those questions.

So here are some questions to ask yourself instead:

  • What do I have to gain?
  • What will be the benefit?
  • Who else will have gain and benefit?
  • What is the best case scenario?
  • Where are there other opportunities for gain that I have not thought about?
  • What can I think right now to attract the outcome I want?

The right questions lead to the right energy and focus and that leads to the results and outcomes we want. 

Remember, whatever you focus on grows.

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!

Posted in goals

Happy Is a Habit

You create your happy by creating “happy habits.”

  • Stop waiting for random “happy” events…create them.
  • Anticipation is a powerful happiness booster.  This is a 2 for 1.  You get  the happy from the anticipation and the actual event.
  • Move your body.  A body in motion…all good stuff.
  • Give to give, not to get.  Turns out that people who give are happier and live longer.
  • Set a goal…you know I love this one!  Too many reasons why on this one, just do it!
  • Get good at creating and maintaining friendships.  (Secret:  I recently had a group Zoom call with some of mine, so fun).
  • Look for the lessons when things feel off.

Guess what happy habits create?  Happy thoughts!  Go be happy!