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Posted in goals, motivation, Time

Procrastincation

Procrastination and Perfectionism are different sides to the same coin.  Both rooted in fear.  Neither serve you in showing up as your highest and best self.

We think we work better under the pressure of time.  That is what we have told ourselves to justify putting things off until the last minute.

Here is why that works for you.

A few blogs ago, I did a blog and a Facebook Live on time.  I talked about how to manage all the things that you have to do by putting in your calendar only allowing yourself so much time to get something done.

By doing that, you are laser focused for that period of time, you aren’t doing anything else.  You aren’t scrolling social media or taking calls.  You are head down and knocking it out.  You have constrained the amount of time that you are giving yourself to get it done.

That’s actually what you are doing by waiting until the last minute to do the thing, procrastinating.  That is exactly why you think that you work better under pressure.

But here is why procrastination isn’t serving you…

From the time that you find out that you need to do “the thing” until you actually do the thing, you ruminate on it.  You dread it, you think about doing it and decide to wait.  It hangs over you like a cloud.  It feels heavy, like a bag of bricks…you know what I am talking about.

You are eating up all of your time thinking about the thing you are putting off instead of enjoying your life, instead of getting stuff done, instead of knocking things out and even getting ahead.

Putting things off doesn’t solve anything, there is no upside.  In fact, it adds to overwhelm!

We tend to put off the things that we don’t feel like we do well.  We put off doing things that we don’t like to do.  We put off doing things that require we get help or figure out how to do.

The reason why you feel like you do your best work when you put things off and wait until the last minute is because you have imposed a time allowance.  You have constrained the amount of time to get the thing done.

You don’t have to do that on the back end of the deadline.  You can front end that process, get it done and then enjoy the feeling of having the thing done!

Think of what a hero you would be at work if you didn’t procrastinate, think about what a hero you would be to you!

Watch the Facebook Live Video on Procrastination here.

If you need help managing your time and overcoming perfectionism or procrastination, sign up for a mini session.  Let’ get’er done!

 

 

Posted in goals

How Sensitive is Your Spam Filter?

How sensitive is your spam filter?

What useless thoughts do you let through?

What thoughts cause you drama, pain or resentment.

What useless thoughts do you ruminate in?

I know that you think it’s something that someone said or did that bugs you, it’s not…that’s and inside job!

If your thoughts bug you, delete them!

Flag them as junk and never think them again!

Don’t go digging into the delete folder…ever!

You can even unsubscribe to them all together.

Fill your inbox full of nothing but the thoughts that serve you!

You can even choose Joy!

 

Posted in goals, motivation

Perfectionism…Why It’s Holding You Back

I used to wear the label “perfectionism” like a title.  So proud.  I guess I thought since it had the word “perfect” in the label that meant I was getting close…to being perfect.

I would use that term to describe myself.  I have blonde hair, blue eyes and I am a perfectionist.  I would tell prospective employers, like that was going to get me the job!

If you identify with being a perfectionist, I want you to really think about what it means.

It means that you that you are not putting your work out into the world until it is perfect, A+ work, nothing but the best, no imperfections. It means that you are not creating the results that you want because it’s not perfect.

Being a perfectionist actually keeps you from showing up as your highest and best self.  It means that while you are trying to produce A+ work, ruminating in perfectionism, someone else is putting out B- work and killing it!

How perfect do you think the first automobile was, the first PC, the first anything?

Someone will always come behind you and find something to tweek that will make the thing better, and that doesn’t mean that there was anything wrong with you or your version.

You all have gifts, you have talent, and the world needs to see them.

Where would we be if Bill Gates waited until his PC was perfect before he showed anyone?  I want you to really think about it…

What if you jumping out there being all imperfect is what inspires someone else to jump out there too.  I have a story about that here.

Perfectionism is what your brain has you ruminating in as an effort to protect you from failure, rejections and humiliation.  It sounds like a good thing, like you have higher standards of excellence, like you are more driven than someone else, you work harder.   You are wrong!

Put your work out there.  You have a song to sing that people need to hear.  You have a book to write that people need to read.  You have problems to solve that people need solutions for.

If you are waiting to raise your hand until you have to perfect words to say and the perfect tone, the perfect everything, the world won’t know how awesome you are…with all of your flaws…FLAWESOME!!!

It doesn’t matter how you got there, I get it!  In a world where nothing but an A will do, B- is uncomfortable.  Guess what?  That’s exactly what you need to do…being willing to be uncomfortable is the key to success.

As perfectionists, we think that setting high demands for ourselves always results in growth and success.  It turns out, by setting such strict, high standards we are ultimately self-sabotaging our efforts.  Setting unrealistic expectations is also severely unhealthy.

Perfectionism is a fixed mindset.  A fixed mind does not grow!

There are tons of reasons why perfectionism is debilitating for our mindset.  Stress, overwhelm, anxiety depression, low or no productivity, low self-worth, missed opportunities…

In a world where we are inundated with Pinterest perfect everything, someone is waiting to be inspired by your imperfection!

Watch my Facebook live to hear about how my imperfection has inspired others.  I share two examples.  

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, imperfect goal digger!!!!

 

Posted in goals

How Do I Stop?

How can I stop doing stuff that doesn’t make my life better, and start doing stuff that does makes my life better?

Now that is a great question, and I think it’s worth a blog.

If we want different results we need different thoughts.

Remember, thoughts trigger our emotions, and our emotions become our fuel for action or non-action, and  that my friends is how we get our results.

What is the result that you want? I mean really, really want? Do you know? Have you stopped long enough to listen, and listened hard enough to hear?

We are afraid to ask sometimes, we are afraid to imagine a life that is beyond our grasp.

We fail ahead of time talking ourselves out of even trying because we can’t imagine that it would even be possible to have what we really want.

We all want to feel better, be the ideal weight, manage our anger, stop over-drinking, stop over-shopping, have the job we love, have the marriage of or dreams,  mend the relationships, the land the deals…

…and yet, we talk ourselves out of wanting anything so we don’t feel the pain of disappointment.   So we don’t feel the pain of rejection, fear and anxiety.

We are more comfortable living at the effect of what life hands us, because then we can just blame our circumstances and all of the people that have a hand in our circumstances.

Guess what?  Those people are you!

Your results create your circumstances.  So if your circumstances are out of alignment with your results then my friend, we have work to do.

Get started today.  You don’t have to entertain the first thought that comes into your head, the unintentional thought.  You can let that one go and land on a thought that serves you.

“I can’t, I don’t know how, I am not sure?” None of these thoughts serve you, EVER!

The first step to stop doing the stuff that does not serve you, is to stop thinking the thought that doesn’t serve you and start finding the ones that do serve you.

Try this…”I am figuring this thing out.” “I am figuring out how to do this thing.”

No one ever figured anything out saying “I can’t.”

So, in the words of my one of my favorite girl bands, The Spice Girls…what do you want? I mean, really, really want!

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger.

Posted in goals

Get’er Done!!!

I have a reputation for getting a ton of stuff done in a short period of time.  I have a reputation for being good with my time and always being on time.   I don’t mind admitting that while I have always been all that, time felt very overwhelming and I was always anxious about time.  I was not in a good space with time…at one time.

I started my “time management” journey, for lack of a better term, over 30 years ago.  I was tired of feeling overwhelmed, hated the frantic busy, busy, persona I saw in others and suspected was growing in me.  I felt like I was always running behind, getting to close to deadlines for comfort and had too many irons in the fire.

I wanted to be productive and have free time.  I wanted time to unwind, time to regenerate and time to just be and I also wanted to get stuff done.   I wanted to feel accomplished and energized.

I felt like weekends were just a race here to get this thing done, and then run over here to get that thing done, and then oh ya, we said yes to this and that means we have to do this, and on, and on, and on.

Before I knew it, the weekend was gone, there was no re-energizing going on, there was no reading, growing, learning, relaxing, or experiencing going on.

I was barely keeping up.  Keeping up with what?  I had no idea.  I was overwhelmed!

All of that probably sounds familiar!  That’s what started my quest for the answer to the problem…how can I get more done in less time and enjoy some down time?

The first thing that I had to do was to understand my relationship with time.

  • How did I think about time?
  • What did I do with my time?
  • Was it a waste, was it an investment?
  • Do I value time and use it wisely?
  • Do I honor the time that I am being paid for?
  • When is time slow and when is time fast?
  • What would I do if I actually did have more time?
  • What am I doing now that I wish I could be doing more of?
  • What would I do if I had less time?

Once you really understand how you feel about time, it’s time to take action, change behaviors and up-level your outcomes.

So how is it that I get soooo much done in a short period of time?

First…I really constrain my commitments to other people.  That is the first step in honoring your time.

Just because people ask does not mean that you need to say yes!  Not every invitation needs to be accepted.

Learn how to gracefully and with integrity, say no thank you.  It could be as simple as, “let me check my calendar, I will get back to you by…”  or “I appreciate the invitation, but I have a previous commitment.”  It’s a response that is with integrity, honoring your time and it’s a graceful decline.

If this feels icky because of your “people-pleasing tendencies…be the people that you most want to please.  I promise, you won’t regret it and either will your people.

Next…I write down all the things that I know I am going for the year.  Yep, the entire year!

It’s going to be time consuming the first time you do this but every time after it gets easier and you will see the payoff…more time!   worth the time.

Write down the vacations, the back to school, the out of school, the camps, the shows, all the things that you know are going on.  Write down any steps or processes that go along with all of the things.  Write down the packing for the vacation, the back to school shopping, getting kids ready for camp, packing for the show…all the things.

Get deeper…are you hanging Christmas lights this year?  What are your Thanksgiving plans if you know, if not figure it out.  Make a list of all of the things that you know are going to happen year.

If the thing has multiple steps in the process, write them down as a “to-do’s.”

Finally, schedule it all and only allow so much time to complete the task.  Put each to-do in a time slot on your calendar and get it done within that time frame.  Then…throw the TO-DO list away!!!

For example: If I want to paint my office, which I just did.  I listed the steps to painting my office and gave it a time allowance.  The final step would be to schedule it into the calendar.

  1.  move the furniture (15 minutes)
  2. clean the walls and base boards (15 minutes)
  3. wipe down with smelling stuff that makes the paint work better (15 minutes)
  4. paint the walls with the first coat (1 hour)
  5. cut the ceiling (1 hour)
  6. paint the walls with the second coat (30 minutes) (2nd coats never take as long)
  7. cut in the base boards (1 hour)
  8. touch up (15 minutes)
  9. clean up (15 minutes)

The key to success…only allow so much time.  Anything that you do only takes so much time but we will take as much time is available sometimes.  Only allow however much time you need and not one minute more!

What if you don’t know how much time something takes?

It doesn’t matter how much time something takes, it matters how much time you allow it to take.  You can take all day to paint a room or you can take 4 hours.

If you apply this process, for sure, you can paint the room in 4 hours.  If you don’t plan, you could let it take all day.  I allowed each task to only take so much time and I worked within the time constraints of the allowed time.  Kind of like a money budget…

If I give myself 15 minutes to move furniture, that’s what I will use, I can give myself 30 minutes.  It doesn’t matter.  You get to decide the time but I can tell you that we take way longer to do things when we don’t give ourselves an allowance.  We spend more money without an allowance and we waste more time…

You might think this sounds rigid and it will feel that way if that is the thought that you have about this strategy.

The truth is that this strategy actually frees up more time.

Humor me, try it.  Not only will you be amazed with how much you can get done in very little time but you will be amazed at how much time you have to do the things that you love, the things that energize you.

You will for sure have things pop up that you didn’t expect.  Things will also get dropped from your schedule.  You will have to look at your month ahead and make any adjustments and then again at the start of each week.

The point is….know what you are going to do and when you are going to do it.  Put it on the calendar at a specific time and then do it in the time allowed.  Done!  That’s it.  That is how it’s done my fellow goal diggers!!!

Watch the Facebook live Transformation Tuesday Virtual Goal Setting Workshop here.

Here is a cool Relationship With Time worksheet to start your journey on a better relationship with time.

If you would like to know if a coach can make a difference, let’s talk.  Book a no obligation discovery session today.

 

 

Posted in goals

What is Your Relationship With Time?

What are your thoughts about time?

Is there enough of it?

Too much of it?

Do you value time?

What do you do with your time?

What do you believe about time?

Do you think time is money?

Does time go slowly?

Fast?

What takes up your time?

What makes you spend your time doing what you do?

When does time fly for you?

What do you believe about your past, present and future?

What would you do if you had more time?

If I knew I had less time what would you do?

Do you spend time, invest time or waste time?

What do you want to use your time for?

That’s a lot of questions but, when was the last time that you really thought about time?

It’s time to think about your relationship with time!

Posted in goals

Is Regret a Useful Emotion?

So, last Tuesday, one day after my hubs and I celebrated our 17th year of marriage, I asked him if there was a topic that he would like me to cover during one of my Transformation Tuesday Facebook Live Virtual Goal Setting Workshops.  He thought for about 2 seconds and then replied, “regret.”  I think people need to know how to handle things that they regret.

I could have made that mean sooooooo many things…I chose to write this blog about regret instead.

I asked myself if regret is a useful emotion.  I thought about it all week.  Here is what I think.

It depends!

With the exception of a few emotions that I put into the “Indulgent Emotion” category, most emotions serve a purpose.  They give us the polarity of life.  Believe it or not, if we didn’t know sad, happy would not be nearly as happy.

I put emotions like overwhelm, self-pity, self-doubt, resentment and confusion in the category of “indulgent emotions.”  Why?  they serve no purpose but to keep you where you are, not moving forward and showing up as your highest and best self.

What about regret?  Is there an upside to regret?  Well, it depends!

If we use the regret as a launch pad that propels us forward and helps us decide to do something that does serve us, then I think that regret can be useful.  However, if we use regret to punish ourselves and beat ourselves up and keep us showing up small and keep doing things that we regret, then no, it’s an indulgent emotion.

I don’t think that you need to feel regret in order to make a different choice now.

Sometimes we keep looking to our past and arguing with it like it should have been different or we wish that we would have done something different.  We think that if somehow it would have been different then we would be different…total waste of time.

Personal story…I stopped talking to my dad for several years.  In the last couple of years we have enjoyed a wonderful relationship.  Of course it is human to want to get into a space of regret.  Regret for the time that passed between us when we were not talking and didn’t have a relationship. Regret for harboring bad feelings,  not seeing him for years,  not being the one to foster his relationship with my daughter.  Soooo many reasons to regret.

If I use that regret to continue punishing myself and  beating myself up, it takes away from the relationship that is available to me now, the one that  I am having now.

Living in regret robs you from the possibilities of future experiences.

My daughter and I always talk about this saying, “everything always works out just the way it should.”  It gives us comfort even when we are experiencing a difficult moment, even when we don’t understand how or why.

Byron Katie teaches  ‘What was meant to happen did, it was always meant to happen that way.  How do we know?  Because it did.”

When we argue with the reality of what is, we suffer.

If you are living in regret right now, if you are looking at your life and punishing yourself  because you wish you would have lived your life different, made different decisions,  shown up different, been different, I want you to ask yourself these questions:

  • Is there an upside to doing that?
  • Have you found a purpose to doing that?
  • Is it serving you in any way?
  • If it isn’t, how could you think about your past in a way that would serve you?
  • How could you think about your past in a way that you don’t blame yourself but you use your past as a way to create a better future for yourself?

 Do not let your regrets take the place of your goals and your dreams for the life that you want to live and experience.

Regret doesn’t have to be present for you to make the changes right now that creates the future that you want.  You don’t have to beat yourself up about your past in order to create a better future.

So stop regretting and let’s get goaling!!!!

 

 

 

Posted in goals, motivation

Self Confidence or Arrogance?

During a recent workshop on creating self-confidence, I got a great question…

“If I start showing up with more self confidence, won’t people think that I am being or becoming arrogant?”

That really made me stop and think about how often we might not show up as our highest and best self, on purpose, because part of us thinks that any demonstration of self-confidence could be mistaken for arrogance.

We shrink so others won’t mistake our confidence for arrogance.

So, let me just set the record straight on that one!

Arrogance is 100% when someone thinks that they are a better human being than someone else.

Self-Confidence is the energy of excellence, even in failure.  Self-confidence is a state of being and energy in maturity, sophistication, elegance, grace, strength and love…

Self-confidence is when we trust ourselves and our abilities, capacities and judgements.   We trust us to have our own back and honor our decisions.

As you increase your capacity to love yourself with all of your awesome flaws (flawsome), you are increasing your capacity to show up as your highest and best self even when it’s hard, even when it’s scary, even when you have never done it before.  You increase your capacity to give love and receive love.

Self-confidence is when we trust ourselves to create the result that we want, make healthy decisions, be a good judge of character.  Self-confidence is an amazing asset that helps push us through doubt and fear and indecision.  Self-confidence helps us take the sting out of rejection and humiliation.

Self-confidence comes from a place of love, abundance, maturity and security.

Arrogance is someone who thinks that they are a better human than someone else.  They build up their ego by putting others down.  Arrogance is born out of insecurity, scarcity, immaturity and fear.

This is my opinion…but, I don’t think you can have too much self-confidence.  That’s like saying you can have too much love or too much abundance, or too much maturity or too much security or have to much of an energy of excellent even in failure.  Not possible.

Having self-confidence does not make you arrogant, arrogance makes you arrogant.

A self-confident person has a deep capacity to love others and be vulnerable.  Self-confident people are easy to be around and easy to talk to.   Self-confident people are comfortable to be around.

An arrogant person does not love themselves, does not trust themselves or anyone else.  They hide their vulnerabilities.  They are not easy or fun to be around at all!!!

I hope this explanation gives you confidence to show up as someone who loves and trusts yourself deeply.  Show up with self-confidence, it’s a good look!

Here is a link to the Transformation Tuesday Facebook live all about self-confidence.

 

 

Posted in goals

Which Discomfort Do You Choose?

Do you ever feel like the Universe nudges you?  Maybe even nags and gnaws at you?  Ever wonder why?

When we have dreams and goals that we don’t pursue, we feel the discomfort of dreams and goals unanswered.  Many people live with that discomfort all of their lives.

The discomfort of unanswered dreams is a life not living to your full potential, it’s safe but boring.  It’s safe but uncomfortable.

It’s uncomfortable because we know in our heart of hearts we are meant for more.  We know, deep down we have a contribution to make.

On the flip side…there is the discomfort of pursuing your goals and dreams.

The discomfort of trying and failing, trying again and failing again.  Being embarrassed, disappointed, humiliated, overwhelmed and doing it anyway!

This is the discomfort that I choose.

If we are going to experience discomfort either way, I choose the discomfort of trying and failing.

Why?

Because this kind of discomfort allows me to serve, allows me to give, allows me to grow and experience, move forward, learn and who knows, I might just create something pretty cool and amazing in the process.

Which discomfort do you choose?

 

 

Posted in goals

End the Food Chatter and Thought Drama!!!

Do you now that even if you are not physically restricting your food intake, mental deprivation can be just as stressful on the body and exhausting?

For most of us, the word “diet” says deprivation and scarcity.

What are the food voices in your head? I have had so many food voices in my head that I couldn’t hear my body when it was screaming at me.

I had the voice that said “no fat, no carbs no meat.” I also heard, “you must eat breakfast, it’s the most important meal of the day, eat 5- small meals a day, never must never let yourself get hungry.”

You were not born with food voices, they grew as you grew. You learned how to think about food from cultural influences, specifically, the “diet” culture and the commercial food industry.

Because of the way that our brain works, our food voices can become food fears. Often these fears are not rational, but they still hold you in their grip.

Your body knows how to process and digest food and it will tell you how much it needs to function, if you get quiet, and listen.  Shhhhh, what is your body saying?

Food is just food and a diet is just the way that you eat, it’s your eating protocol. That’s it!

There are foods that are more nutrient dense, and there are others that serve no purpose but to entertain our mouths and trigger the pleasure-seeking part of our brains motivational triad.

Remind yourself that you can have anything at any time you want, and it’s always your choice what you eat and when. When you can view food from this perspective, it losses its emotional power over you. You can take back your power over cravings and urges when you view food as fuel, nourishment and yes…pleasure.

Scream “NOOOOOOO” to thoughts in your head that say, “It’s time to get up and eat, it’s noon, I must eat, it’s 5:00, dinner time.” Eat when you are hungry, not because it’s time.

Be quiet, and listen to your physical hunger level.  What is your body, not your brain, hungry for?

I am launching a group coaching program in April.  Even if you don’t have weight to lose, you will want to be part of it.  I will teach you things about food that everyone needs to know.  I want you equipped with everything you need to show up as your highest and best self in every area of your life…including health.

If you humor me, and put into practice what I suggest, you may never fear a dessert bar or an all you can eat buffet again. You will be in control, you will be at peace.

I want you to enjoy your food more and honor your body…it knows best!  Join the April Weight Loss Master Class!  It’s way more than weight loss, it’s life changing.

When you learn how to manage cravings and urges, you will be free from the emotional hunger and food voices.

Click here to learn all about it.

Posted in goals

Old Belief Resistance

It is not possible to sit with two opposing beliefs at the same time and be comfortable.

So most of us stay where we feel most comfortable.  Even if it doesn’t feel good, it’s familiar and that makes it feel comfortable.

That is exactly how our life just keeps repeating.  Rinse and repeat.

“Cognitive Dissonance” is when you have two conflicting thoughts in your brain.  This creates discord and discomfort.  Most people give up on the new thought and go back to the old thought because it is way easier.

Here is an example:  “I want to be fit and healthy but one donut won’t hurt.”

The thought “one donut won’t hurt” is so easy to think and it drives behavior to eat things off your eat plan.  It even sounds like the truth.

The thought, “I want to be fit” is new and serves you but takes a lot of practice and prefrontal cortex thinking to keep thinking that thought until it becomes automatic and starts driving new behaviors.

Don’t panic if this happens while you are trying to believe your new thoughts.  It’s just your brain trying to make sense of your new thinking and it seems like a threat, it’s all good.

The key to really breaking the cycle of attracting the wrong people into my life, attracting unfavorable circumstances into my life, and feeling like I was living at the cause and effect of everything around me was for me to challenge all of my old thoughts, my old beliefs, the ones that were not serving me the results I wanted to create.

Here are just a few old beliefs that I have challenged:

  • I don’t like….insert about a hundred things.
  • I don’t want…insert a million things.
  • This is just the way I am.
  • I can’t…
  • I am not good at…
  • I have always struggled with…

None of these thoughts served me or helped to evolve me or helped me to show up as my highest and best self.

And, here is an eye opener…how you describe you and your life is exactly what you invite into it.  WHAT???

Here are some things that I hear people say when they are just casually talking about what is going on in their lives…

  • I am always broke
  • I can’t afford…
  • That’s way out of my reach
  • My job is hard and stressful
  • I can’t do anything right these days
  • People don’t respect me
  • My kids, husband, boss, friends are annoying
  • I will always be fat

How you describe your life is exactly what you invite!!!  That was totally worth repeating.

Those are just thoughts but they are powerful in the way that they manifest your circumstances.   They are powerful in the way that they become habitual thoughts and powerful in how they make you feel, drive your actions and create your results.

They are disempowering and they are all lies!

Go back and read my previous blogs about how to create new thoughts that serve you.  I am extremely passionate about sharing this knowledge with all of you so that you can experience transformations in your own life.

Let’s go be goal setting, goal getting, goal diggers!!!!

Posted in goals

Why is Believing So Important?

Think about it…what if we only ever believed in things that we only saw evidence for?

Someone had to believe that we could have electricity and lights and power and running water and cars and airplanes.  Think about our internet technology of today, our cell phones our ability to communicate, travel, do anything that we want.

It all started with a thought, followed by a decision,, followed by a commitment, followed by action.

Notice, I didn’t say that they sat around wondering, hoping, ruminating, sitting in a space of indecision and self-pity…they took action.  They took action without evidence that they would be successful.

They didn’t wait until they “knew how.”  They took action.  Massive action.  Not frantic action, massive action.

But the thing that kept all of our great inventors, creators and collaborators going was belief that they were going to figure this out, that they were going to be successful, eventually.

They were willing to fail thousands of times, in fact they did, they all did.

None of us has evidence that we will be successful in pursuit of becoming our highest and best self as long as we keep looking to the past for the answers.

The answer is not there.  If it were, we would already have accomplished the things, acquired the things and achieved all the things.  We would have the jobs, careers, relationships of our dreams.  We would feel the level of self-worth we dream of.  We would have the business, the hobby, the passion we think about.  We would already have it all.

We are all on a journey to create our best life, design a life that we are proud of living.  Not because it up levels our worth to the world, but because it adds color, texture, flavor and value to our lives.  Because we were born to evolve into living our best life and show up as our highest and best self.  That is our creators desire for us.

Love the journey!

Every day I wake up and ask myself, “how can I be my best today, for my boss, my peers, my friends, my family, my horses, my students…?”  I literally sit down and write it out.  What does it look like, what does it mean, what do I do when I show up as my best self.  Then I start moving, taking action, showing up as that person.

It doesn’t always go as planned because I am human.  But I have a plan to believe every day that I can show up as my best.

When you start out every day with the belief that you have the ability to create the results that you want, you wake up with a mission every day.  That belief follows you around all day long and helps you make decisions from that space of belief.  Sometimes that belief leads the way and shows you opportunities.

You start living as that person who can create that result.  Then you start creating that result.

Believe that you have a unique gift that the world needs to see.  No one can do it like you can!  Believe from the person that you are becoming, not from your past.

I hope that this was helpful and useful.

Now, go be a believing, goal setting, goal getting, goal digger.

Posted in goals

Believing New Things Part 4 – (The Final Steps in the Process)

So, what to do with the new thought, the new belief that you want to believe, the one that will serve you better as you up level your life?

For sure, read the first 3 blogs on this subject if you haven’t already.

This work is so powerful and it will change how you show up in the world…when you do the work.

By now, you have written down your old belief.  For example, “I don’t read and comprehend well.”  You have written down your new belief, the one that you want to believe, the one that will serve you.  For example, “I read and comprehend complex material and I know how to apply  it.”

The next step is to look at that new thought and write down all of the thoughts and feelings that bubble up for you.  Do not try to do this in your head.  There are too many thoughts swirling around up there.  This work is about precision.

When I looked at my new thought for the first time, I thought things like, “that’s a lie, you are making no sense, you have always been this way, you are an imposter.”  Yep, I thought all of those things.

Don’t be surprised if your brain is a little hard on you the first time that you try to believe your new thought.  The old thought is easier, it’s familiar, it’s automatic.  The new thought takes energy, intention and requires a lot more prefrontal attention.  The new thought won’t feel comfortable at all!  That’s how you know you are doing it right.

Practice and repetition is how you learned to believe your old thought and that is going to get you to a space of belief in your new thought.

For the next 30 days, write down your new thought, new belief that you want to believe.  Then write down what you think and how you feel about the new thought.

For me, the first few days were awful.  I fell like such a fraud trying to believe that I could read and comprehend complex material.

But by day 4, something happened.

There was a shift in how I felt about the new thought.  I started seeing evidence that my new thought was true!  I started feeling authentic in my thought and new belief.  It felt comfortable and automatic.

How did that change my life?

I am not in fear of any email that hits my inbox.  I know with confidence that I will be able to read and comprehend that material and I will figure out how it applies.  I show up bigger, I show up excited to contribute to meetings, I show up!

My old belief made me show up small, hold back, sit in fear and anxiety about everything.  I didn’t contribute like I should have, like I could have.  I wasn’t the partner in life or in work that I am today, I wasn’t my highest best self.

My new belief is empowering and it allows me to be a more relevant contributor everywhere!

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!

 

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Believing New Things Part 3

Hopefully you have read part 1 and 2 and now you are ready to start the process of believing new things.

Have you ever thought about what makes us believe what we believe?  Two things, practice and repetition.  You might be thinking, what about evidence?  Read on…

I had practiced my thought of “I don’t read and comprehend well” all of my life.  What is important to understand is that there was mountains of evidence to prove that thought was not true and yet, I believed it.  It was “who I am,” it became “just what I have to deal with.”

I had done well in school, I had taken several insurance licensing tests, security tests, Real Estate tests, my CRCM etc…I had tons of evidence that I could read and comprehend very well.

So really think about this, just because you think it, does not make it true, it just means that you think it is true!

So right now, grab that old belief that you want to dismantle and let’s get started.

  1.  Write out the old belief in a narrative.  For example, “I don’t read and comprehend well.”
  2. Decide what you want to believe instead.  Write that out very clearly.  For example, “I read and comprehend complex material and I know how to apply it.”

Note:   I even added a level of thought to my new belief.  I up-leveled my thinking.

Don’t worry if you don’t think it is true right now.  Remember, practice and repetition is how you get there.  You may not feel good thinking the new thought, you may even feel like it’s a lie.  Don’t worry, it’s just your brain trying to make sense of your new thoughts.

Most people give up believing the new thought too soon.

Why?

Even though we don’t like the old thought or belief, it’s familiar, we have learned to live with it, we may even be emotionally attached to it.  You may have fallen for the line, “It’s just how I am.”

The new thought may not have anything to back it up right now and that’s OK.  Remember, your brain wants to prove your thoughts true.  As soon as you decide to believe in your new thought, you will start seeing evidence that it is true.  I promise.

In the next blog, I am going to talk about what to do with your new thought.  For now, just be with it.  Right down what bubbles up for you when you think it.

Write it all down, don’t try to do this in your head, it won’t work.

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!

 

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Believing New Things Part 2

Last March, in Self Coaching Scholars, the subject was Believing New Things.  The homework was to find an old belief that doesn’t serve me and work on it.

I really believed that I had done so much work that I wasn’t carrying around any old beliefs that didn’t serve me.

Boy was I wrong!

So, I am sitting at my desk, reading email and it hit me.  Dread filled my body, I didn’t want to read this email.  The subject sounded complicated, like I wouldn’t understand it, wouldn’t comprehend it.

“I don’t read and  comprehend well.”

This is a belief that I carried around with me since the second grade.  My mind flashed back to a time,  I remember sitting at the dining room table reading stories over and over again, trying to tell my mom details of what I had just read.  It was not fun for me or for my mother.

Soon, it was resolved, that’s just the way I am!

If we do nothing with our old beliefs, they will continue to create our future results.  That’s the life loop that we can get caught up in.

Do you feel like you are in a life loop?

Listen, we get to believe anything we want, there are no rules to what we choose to believe.  That’s the best news ever!

So why do we choose that old thought to believe?  Why do we choose the one that doesn’t serve us, even when we see evidence that it’s not even true?

Because, even though it doesn’t feel good to believe that thought, it’s comfortable.  It’s familiar.

So how do you go from believing one thing to believing another thing?  That’s going to be part 3.

This week, continue to be very aware of thoughts that bubble up for you that are limiting.

Thoughts like:

  • I can’t
  • I’ve never been able to
  • I don’t
  • I’m just that way
  • I’ve always struggled with
  • I’m not good at

The list could go on forever.

The point is to be a watcher of your thoughts this week.  Watch for the disempowering ones.  They seem so harmless, so benign, so true!!!!

Be aware of emotions that bubble up like:

  • Dread
  • Worry
  • Anxiety
  • Overwhelm
  • Jealousy
  • Self-doubt

Find the thought that created the emotion.

This is going to be powerful work that changes your life!

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!