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So here is the scenario:
• You lost the last 10 pounds and you thought you would finally love your body and you don’t.
• You married the man of your dreams and thought your life would feel complete and it doesn’t.
• You had the baby you longed for and hoped that you would feel fulfilled and now you feel like crap because you don’t.
• You changed jobs in hopes that you would feel appreciated, but you don’t.
• You built the business that you dreamed of hoping it would make you feel relevant, but it doesn’t.

There are times that we seek goal after goal after goal, hoping that something will make us feel happy, feel peace, feel content, feel comfortable, feel complete, feel better.
There are times we put our sights on a goal, and that goal becomes the place that when we will finally get there, we know, we just know, we will feel differently. But we don’t
We hit the target, and after a period of joy and as a little times goes by, we can feel like something went terribly wrong because you don’t feel any of the things that you expected.

What happened? Turns out, there are two reasons.
1. You are human
2. You have a brain

This is going to sound cliché and it is, sorry. Your goal is not, I repeat, NOT about the destination, it’s all about the journey. It’s all about the person that you become along the way, about how you evolved as a human, about the emotions that you experience…the good and the bad. It’s all of that, and the thing? Well, that’s just icing on the cake so to speak. Sorry about all the clichés

So why bother with a goal? You must set a goal, that is what sets our compass, gives us a focus, a map. Goals give us flavor and texture in life. You are going to do something; it might as well be intentional.

Here is where goaling goes all wrong.

We think that reaching that goal is going to make us feel better, and it won’t. Oh, maybe for a little while you can smell that new car smell and smell that new house smell and the new relationship is oh soooo good. But once the newness of the goal wears off, if you brought your un-useful thoughts and emotions with you, guess what? Yep, the same ole crappy life shows right back up.

So what is a person to do?

“Think the thoughts now that make you feel now the way you think you will feel when you hit that goal.”

Read that last part again and at least 5 more times. Let that sink in.

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!

When Steve and I decided to explore the opportunity to move to Florida earlier this year, we received tons of confirmation from the universe that we were on the right track.

Or did we?

If you have been following our story for a while, you know that Steve got a job in Florida almost immediately…that’s a good sign. I was able to stay with my job and work remotely…that’s a good sign. We sold our house in a day, totally amazing and that’s a good sign. We bought a house in an equestrian community and can board our horses for $100 a month.

So what about when it just feels like nothing is going your way?  Does that mean that you made a bad decision?

We have had to deal with replacing the septic system, fire ants, rain rot, heat exhaustion, scratches, stocked up legs, non-stop rain and for sure the hardest work I have ever had to do taking care of my horses…EVER.

When it feels like nothing is going your way, look at what you are thinking. You might be thinking that nothing is going your way and for sure that will be your result.

Your results always prove your thoughts true.

Here is how it works:

Circumstance – Something happens, pick anything from my list above.
Thought – We must have made a bad decision
Feeling – Feels like nothing is going our way
Action – Second guess our decision
Result – Convinced we made a mistake

As humans, when we think about living our dream, we think it’s going to be all sunshine and daisies, rainbows and unicorns.  So, when it’s not, we can feel like we screwed up somewhere, made a bad decision and we start second guessing everything.

Think about an Olympic athlete winning a gold medal. While standing on the podium, they are in the height of the glory of living the dream. But think about all hard work to get there.  Most days were sore muscles, no sleep, managing their diet, scrimping money for training etc…

If the athlete would be thinking the thought, “I must have made a bad decision,” how long do you think they would stay on their journey? Not long.

There is no reason to think that you would be able to stay on your dream journey with that thought either!

Remember, thoughts are optional, and you must choose the thought that is going to get the result that you want.

So, what to do? Manage your thoughts!!

Sure, it’s been tough but there have been tons of learning and opportunities to exercise my thought muscle.

Obstacles just become your “to do” list, your strategy, a map.

Learn how to take care of horses in heat and humidity, get smart about fire ants, be thankful you have money to replace your septic system even if that’s not what you wanted to spend that money on.

Those are the thoughts that serve me.

Second guessing decisions serve no purpose.

Just because stuff happens does not mean that you have made a bad decision or that anything bad has happened, you make it mean something by your thoughts.

Things always work out the way that they should, they just do.  Hang on to that thought when it gets tough.

Look for the opportunity to learn and grow. Look for the opportunity to stretch yourself in an area that serves you.

Don’t always be looking for the easy button. Growth is not there!

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!

I love it when businesses post “under new management” notices. It lets us know that changes have been made and you can expect an up-leveled experience. We can expect things to be different…better.

Bad service is a sign of bad leadership. You can almost picture the manager or leader style just by watching their staff or team and how their business performs.

Every time!

Soooo, that got me to thinking about the manager or leader of your life.  YOU!

What is your current style? Do you demonstrate compassion and love for yourself or do you demonstrate self-pity and doubt, fear and anxiety? Are you doing OK at least 80% of the time or is it more 30-50% of the time. Do you have room for improvement or are you exceeding your own expectations?

Would you be satisfied of your favorite restaurant was doing OK only 30-50% of the time?

What if you managed your life with the same high-level expectations that you have for others in your life?

What if you managed your thoughts to only those that served you? Notice that I said “served you.”

Your management style is creating results in your life. Do you like the results?
Your management style is reflected back to you in real time by the quality of your relationships, the quality of your health, the quality of your work-life, the quality of the food you choose, the quality decisions that you make.

Are you happy with your management style or do you need and evaluation, a review, a remediation plan to improve?

What is your mission statement? Your purpose? Every business has them.

“You are your business.”

I had to fire the manager of my life. The one that offered worry and anxiety as an appropriate emotion most days. I had to fire the manager that didn’t know how to manage thoughts and chose to think the worst of everyone, everything and lived in isolation emotionally. I fired the manager that didn’t make appropriate fuel choices for my body and fuel choices for my brain. I had to fire that manager with a scarcity mindset around time, money and relationships. She is gone! She does not get to manage my life any longer.

I have super-duper high expectations of my new manager. She must make commitments to herself and keep them. She must have her own back. She is not allowed to entertain thoughts that don’t serve her. She is totally allowed to feel negative emotions and be with them as long as she needs to but is not allowed to buffer in response to being with them. She must manage her mindset around money, time and relationships. She must show up every day in a way that serves the universe.

I love my new manager!

Do you need to fire your manager to up-level your results?

Go have a meeting with yourself today. Write up your expectations, purpose and mission statement.

Now go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!

How can I stop doing stuff that doesn’t make my life better, and start doing stuff that does makes my life better?

Now that is a great question, and I think it’s worth a blog.

If we want different results we need different thoughts.

Remember, thoughts trigger our emotions, and our emotions become our fuel for action or non-action, and  that my friends is how we get our results.

What is the result that you want? I mean really, really want? Do you know? Have you stopped long enough to listen, and listened hard enough to hear?

We are afraid to ask sometimes, we are afraid to imagine a life that is beyond our grasp.
We fail ahead of time talking ourselves out of even trying because we can’t imagine that it would even be possible to have what we really want.  To feel better, to lose the weight, to manage our anger, to stop over-drinking to stop over-shopping, to have a job we love, to have the marriage of or dreams, to mend the relationships, the land the deals…

We talk ourselves out of wanting anything so we don’t feel the pain of disappointment.   So we don’t feel the pain of rejection, fear and anxiety.

We are more comfortable living at the effect of what life hands us, because then we can just blame our circumstances and all of the people that have a hand in our circumstances.

Guess what?  Those people are you!  Your results create your circumstances.  So if your circumstances are out of alignment with your results then my friend, we have work to do.

Get started today.  You don’t have to entertain the first thought that comes into your head, the unintentional thought.  You can let that one go and land on a thought that serves you.

“I can’t, I don’t know how, I am not sure?” None of these thoughts serve you, EVER!

The first step to stop doing the stuff that does not serve you, is to stop thinking the thought that doesn’t serve you and start finding the ones that do serve you.

Try this…”I am figuring this thing out.” “I am figuring out how to do this thing.”

No one ever figured anything out saying “I can’t.”

So, in the words of my one of my favorite girl bands, The Spice Girls…what do you want? I mean, really, really want!

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger.

I want you to catch yourself every time you find yourself saying, “I don’t know or
I can’t.”

Maybe it sounds like, “I don’t know why I just can’t lose weight?” “I don’t know how to do….” “I don’t have enough time.” “I don’t have enough money.” “I can’t do it by myself…”

These thoughts give us permission to quit on ourselves because as long as we think that we don’t know how or we can’t, we don’t have to take action, so we don’t.

We let ourselves off the hook! When we do that, we rob ourselves and the world the benefit of showing up as our best selves.

Repeat after me…”Everything is figure-out-able!” I know that isn’t a real word, but it should be.

Watch what happens in your life when you stop saying “I don’t know or I can’t,” and you start saying, “I am going to figure this thing out.”

As much as your brain really, really, really hates it when you introduce goals that require change, your brain loves accomplishment.

When you figure this thing out, your brain will get a dopamine hit and ask, “what’s next?”

For whatever you want to do, there is a way!

Now go be goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!

I don’t even know who said this originally but I love this quote, “It’s a slow process, but quitting won’t speed it up.”

My life coach, Brooke Castillo says, “Quitting is a habit and justifying quitting is a skill.”

What we practice the most is what we get the best at doing.

And that goes for everything…if you are practicing overeating, you’re getting better at overeating.

If you’re practicing over drinking, you’re getting better at over drinking.

If you are practicing at over spending, over working, over anything, that is what you are getting really good at.

If you are in the habit of quitting, then you have been practicing quitting.

If you’re practicing justifying why you’re quitting, you’re getting better at that.”

There is no reason to continue on the course of quitting things and then justifying the quitting.

Your brain will always try to talk you out of things.

It’s your brain Motivational Triad.

Go back and read one of my previous blogs to find out the many ways we quit ourselves.

“Stop quitting and start getting stuff done” is more than my tagline…it’s a the way!!!”

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, GOAL DIGGER!!!

My last blog was July 13th.  Most of you know that Steve and I have moved from Oklahoma to Florida.

It’s not an easy task moving down the street, let alone across the country, with 6 fur babies!

I can’t say that I am feeling incredibly creative at the moment.  I may not have clever words for this write, but I am going to do it any way…write that is.

How did we do it?  It started with a decision.

What do we want.  Not a “how” …a what.

Then we talked about why.  Why Florida, why does it make sense, why should we…why?

Then the “what”, again, over and over.

What does moving to Florida feel like, look like, sound like, what thoughts come up when think it or say it out loud.  What is scary, what is exciting, what is crazy about the idea.

Then we talked about when.  When do we do this, when do we pull the trigger, when do we do this and then when do we do that etc…?

Then how.  The how was the least important.   We didn’t know and we didn’t even try to know how.  We have never moved to Florida before so the thought seemed like more than we should be thinking about at our age, so we didn’t.

We just kept talking about the “what”.

Pretty soon we started seeing opportunities, we started seeing possibilities.  The “how” started happening.

It’s hard work making your dream come true, even when every element in the universe is unfolding just for you, it’s hard.  You still have to take massive action, every single day, do something.

We had several moments when we consciously thought to ourselves “right here, this is where people quit, right before they cross the finish line, right here.”  We had several of those moments when staying would have been way easier.

We kept going, doing the hard stuff. Sometimes it was pretty and graceful but most of the time it was clunky and uncomfortable.

Going through the hard stuff, being willing to be uncomfortable, not quitting before you cross the finish line, that is the currency for success.  That is where the growth happens.

Now, what is your what???????

Go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!

As most of you know, a few weeks ago, Steve and I decided to step out of our comfort zone and set out for a new adventure, relocating to Tampa, Florida.  Adventurous is a word that no one would use to describe Steve or me.  In fact, we are both compliance people, risk averse!

I can tell you that many conversations took place before we landed on Tampa but that is a different blog.

What is important to know is that once we decided the what, the how started to reveal itself.  Even when we thought we knew the path and how it was going to go, it went a different way.

It’s also important to know that we had this conversation two years ago, the one about moving to Florida.

So how is it that this time it happened and two years ago it did not?

Mindset!

Two years ago, just talking about it kind of freaked me out.  It felt to big of a dream.  So, we decided that we should not take a chance, we should just ride out our careers and then make the move.  Don’t rock the boat.  Scarcity mindset.

This year when the topic came up again, I wanted to try my new mindset, the mindset of abundance.  The mindset that said, “why not explore the opportunity and see what comes up?”

We both intentionally reminded ourselves and each other not get attached to the how but focus on the what.

And guess what happened?

Within weeks, Steve had a job.  Then he began organizing and sorting his keep pile from his sell pile.  Then we sold the house, bought a house and amazingly, I get to stay with my job and work remote.  Two years ago I would have been afraid to ask if that was a possibility.

Our scarcity mindset of two years ago held us back, slowed down the process, and prolonged the inevitable.  We had quit on ourselves and failed ahead of time.

Embracing the abundant mindset opened our eyes to possibilities, and opportunities.  Embracing abundance has opened our lives to others who are sharing in our experience, supporting our adventure and cheering us on.

I will for sure be writing more about how we did it exactly but for now I want to leave you with this:

• Take a chance on a piece of crap house sitting on crappy land, it could be your dream home, or someone else’s. Thank you honey for always seeing the vision even when it tested everything about us.  We passed!
• Take a chance on that sad little dog that no one wants, it could rescue you right back. Thank you Penny, Bella, Two Putt, Harley and sweet Lucy.  I learned lessons that I did not even know I needed to learn.
• Take a chance on that no bloodline horse that didn’t even have a name, she may teach you more than you thought you could ever learn. Thank you Baby J. I don’t understand you yet, but I am trying.
• Take a chance and drive three hours and try that horse in the parking lot of a truck stop. Then take it home and go to the world show and blow your own mind.  Thank you my sweet Kit.  The horse with the running heart blaze and a heart that runs deep.
• Take a chance and climb that prickly tree to rescue the only cat to ever wonder onto your property and live to meow about it. He might rescue you back.  Thank you Mr. Mr. Kitty.  You saved us that weekend.
• Take a chance on a gelding named Buck. Regardless of how horrible he sounds, he may be the most amazing equine you will ever meet.  Thank you Buck.  I did everything on you first.  You started out being the horse that no one wanted and now you are everyone’s horse.
• Take a chance on love again when your heart is ripped out and then buried, she is not gone, she still takes care of you. Thank you Scooter.  I felt you catch me when I fell, I feel your breath on my neck, and your presence is peaceful.  Please be on the trailer as we travel to Florida.
• Take a chance on a black dog that someone dumps on your property, let him stay. He will fiercely protect you and lovingly greet you and all of your guests.  Thank you Shadow Man.  What an amazingly loyal and loving creature.
• Take a chance on one more dog even when you know you have enough because he means so much to everyone and he will be just what you needed after all. Be so totally dedicated to loving him that you sit in the rain and play ball with him because that is what makes him happy.  Thank you D.  D, my grand doggy, my loyal protector, my barn yard companion, my daughter’s heart.
• Take a chance on yourself and know that you have no limits. Even when your brain says that you do have limits, you don’t!  Take a chance!

We have had tragic experiences and loving experiences.  There were a hundred times that we wanted to throw in the towel, and do what, we didn’t know.  Anything but what we were facing seemed good enough.

Then the way we looked at things changed and that changed the way things looked.

When we saw the blessings even in the tragedy, the curse was lifted.  When we were grateful, we saw more blessing than we felt worthy of.

We have grown, evolved and matured, not just aged, but matured…not without taking a chance.

Now go be a goal getting, goal setting, goal digger!!!

Sometimes I feel

• lazy
• uninspired
• unmotivated

In these moments, I start thinking things like,

• “You are a fraud girl, people will turn on you when they find out.”
• “They all think that you are some kind of super-human.”
• “You aren’t super at all, you are just human.”

Sometimes working on my goals is that last thing I feel like doing.

And if I am being totally honest, there are times I would rather not do the thought work and just sit in my head and throw a fit.

Shouldn’t we feel inspired all of the time????

No!!!!

You aren’t going to feel inspired or motivated most of the time!

Most of us wait until we feel inspired or feel motivation before we take action.

Some days I don’t feel like running, in fact, most days.  There are actually days that I don’t feel like riding my horses, gasp! Sometimes, I don’t feel any inspiration to write a blog.

None of these feelings have anything to do with my desire to achieve whatever the goal is.  My actions do!

You aren’t always going to feel happy and things are not always going to be easy just because you are doing something that you love.  In fact, the law of polarity says that 50% of the time you won’t be happy and things will be hard.

We self-sabotage and fail ahead of time and talk ourselves out of the very thing we can’t stop thinking about, just because we lose our motivation or inspiration and it gets hard.

I always thought that as long as I am on the right track, things would be easy and rainbows and unicorns.

Wrong…it’s mostly still a sh^t show!

The motivation to do something follows the activity of doing something.  Motivation follows action.  Not the other way around.  In fact, your brain will always try to talk you out of doing anything that is going to make you stretch and grow.  Your brain likes easy and familiar, even if it’s bad for you.

So even if you don’t feel like it, put one foot in front of the other, and just start moving one step closer, then another and then another.

As much as your brain loves to talk you out of doing something, it loves accomplishment, it loves a sense of completion.

So go do that thing, even when you don’t feel like it, even when it’s hard, even when…

Let your brain feel the sense of completion and accomplishment and then do that again!

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!

The absolute worst and most unimaginable thing that you can do to yourself is to decide ahead of time what you are capable of.

You are capable of more than you can even imagine.

That’s why goal setting is sooooo stinking tricky!  We tend to write down things that we are pretty sure we can achieve.  We play safe and when we play safe, we show up safe.  Showing up safe is not brave or courageous, it’s just safe.

Setting massive goals, big-ass, mack-daddy goals feels scary and huge and outside of anything that we can imagine for ourselves.  Exactly!

Set goals that excite you and scare you and energize you and push you to do things that you never imagined yourself doing…seriously, do it!

What is that thing that you can’t let go of?  That thing that feels like it only happens for other people, what is it?  Write it down.

Write down the story of achieving that goal.  Not the how, the what.  Describe what you achieved as if you have already achieved it.  How does it look, how does it feel, how does it smell?

What are your thoughts and emotions about achieving this goal?  Describe it all!

What will you day be like when you achieve this goal, what’s the first thing you do and what is the last thing you do every day when you reach this goal?

Just let your thoughts run wild and crazy and reckless with the possibility of what is possible…and write it all down, every last thought.

Do you want to know why?

Your brain will look for evidence that your thoughts are true.  You will start seeing opportunities, you will recognize the universe working in your favor.  You will start believing in what is possible.  You will move one step closer 1% at a time.

A very wise man is known for this quote and I believe it to be true…In fact, I am counting on it to be absolutely 100% truth.

”Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right!”  Thank you Henry Ford.

Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!

“I knew it was too good to be true,”  “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”

Yuk!!!!  What horrible thoughts!  Unfortunately, I have thought it and said it myself.

It’s a skeptical view-point and a scarcity mindset that something seemingly fine must have something wrong with it.

It’s a belief that nothing is as good as it seems, or worse, you aren’t worthy of receiving anything so good and favorable, so it must not be true.

Now I am not talking about things that are false being true, I am talking about legit, real things feeling too good, and/or being so close to what we want that we back away because, well…”it’s just too good to be true.”

So we fail ahead of time because we don’t want to be disappointed.  We don’t go for the job, or invest emotionally into the relationship or jump into the new business, even when we see evidence that we are on the right path, we dismiss the evidence as, “too good to be true.”

It’s just a thought that is put there by your brain as an effort to keep you safe, from feeling fear and rejection and feeling anxiety, it’s your brains motivational triad at work, and that’s OK.  Doesn’t mean you have to listen, doesn’t mean you have to respond, and it doesn’t mean it’s even true.

The truth is that “nothing is too good to be true” is a thought that you can choose to think as you approach your goals and objectives.  As you start down the path of up-leveling your life, becoming your future you, you are going to come face to face with opportunities and advantages.  Recognize them and take them.  They are not too good to be true, this is the way that the universe works.

Try thinking the thought that “nothing is too good to be true” over and over, write it out over and over.  Feel the peace that comes from thinking a thought like that, see if you  start seeing opportunities and advantages coming your way.

My husband and I have recently made a major life decision lately and almost as soon as we decided the “what” the “how” started presenting itself.  We started seeing opportunities that we could explore, and take advantage of.  We aren’t getting emotionally challenged or charged by any of the several opportunities available.  We aren’t dismissing them as too good to be true either.  In fact, our approach is that we are open to all of it and nothing is too good to be true.

It’s still scary, but fear is just a vibration in the body, it doesn’t hurt.  It is exciting and excitement is just a vibration in the body as well.

What makes you feel good or bad, is the thought that you choose to think. 

Somehow, we humans got the idea that we would only have good thoughts and things would be easy and fun and daisies and rainbows in pursuit of our goals and dreams.

That’s not true.  Pursuing your goals and dreams is scary, and exciting and hard and requires growth and you get tested and you fail and you try again and you grow again and then you get there and think…huh, that wasn’t so bad, what’s next?

So my friends, nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, is too good to be absolutely true!

Now, go be a goal getting, goal setting, goal digger!!!

Goals have so many components to them.  There is the “what you want,” then there is the “how you gonna get it” and there is the “why do this thang”…and in any one of those areas we can get off track, give up and end up in the spin cycle of life where we rinse and repeat our days…day after day.

We can get so caught up in the outcome,  and what it means to achieve the goal, that we lose sight of who we are becoming in the process, and that my friends is where the gold is.  It’s in the process.

I know it’s easy to compare where you are to where you want to be and feel like you have so far to go.  You can find yourself asking, what’s the point?  I had that very experience this past weekend.

This past weekend I was at a recognized dressage show and had a chance to watch the upper level riders ride.  It was breath-taking and awesome and then overwhelming.  As I watched their rides I was excited for the possibility that one day I could be that good.  When the inner critic committee showed up, I was reminded of how far I have to go, reminded of the work ahead and reminded of the sense of feeling like I don’t belong in this dream.

When you measure yourself against how far you have to go, you start cheating yourself.  You cheat yourself out of how far you have come already, you cheat yourself out of where you are now, and you cheat yourself out of your future, because on this train of thought, you feel like quitting.

Clearly defined goals, with measurable milestones, helps you understand if you are making progress.  And it’s all about making progress.  Getting 1% better every day.

When you measure yourself against how far you have come, you may find yourself in a space that you never imagined, you may actually find yourself smack dab in the middle of pursuing your dream.   You may find yourself doing the thing.

That also happened this weekend.

It was just a few years ago I was figuring out dressage and how to tack up my horse, what to wear, the protocol, the training, riding in that little saddle, all of it, and now we are showing at recognized shows and winning blue ribbons.

Every rider that I watched this weekend was, at one time, where I am today and that’s where hope and inspiration comes from, all the possibilities.

Someone was watching us, and thinking about the possibilities for them, she was kind enough to let me know this weekend, right when I needed to be reminded.

She said, “I remember when I was at the 2015 WDAA World Show I saw your ride on your red horse.  I was talking to friends and I had to stop the conversation to watch.  I just love the way that your mare travels.  You two have a very good connection, and you can see that she just loves her job…”

Someone was watching me three years ago when I was just getting started.  WHAT????

So while you are pursuing your dream and you are feeling like it’s a train wreck, all while feeling overwhelmed, tired and defeated, remember this…someone else may be watching you and dreaming of all of the possibilities.

Now go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!!!