Posted in goals, motivation

When Is It Time To Give Up?

Interesting Question

I had an interesting question the other day from a student.  She was asking if she should give up on her goal.  She wanted to know if all of the obstacles she is facing is a sign from the Universe that she should stop chasing her dream.

My answer….NO WAY!!!!

Let me be so perfectly clear here.  The Universe NEVER conspires against you…EVER!!!!

The only one who ever conspires against you, is you!  Not other people, not obstacles, just you!

Once a dream is placed into your heart and it is met with passion that burns in your gut, it is yours to claim.

It is human nature to look for signs of being on the right path to our goal.  We also look for signs that we are on the wrong path.  In fact, almost as soon as you have a desire and put it in writing, you start seeing opportunities appear and this gives you assurance that you made a right choice.  But as soon as it gets hard or we start facing obstacles, self-doubt shows up to talk us out of it.

We start looking for evidence that something has gone wrong.

What’s Going On

Here is what is happening…

Our primal brain is surveying and always looking for the risk, the danger and serving up information to us like it the news and that it’s all true.  Then we are adding our thoughts and interpreting the information as being good or bad, positive or negative or neutral by the thoughts that we have about the information that we were given.

When things get hard, we start feeling resistance, we start second guessing our good judgement, we start over analyzing, we start filling up with self-doubt, we start thinking something has gone wrong.

Our brain is just trying to talk us out of our goal in order to keep us safe from some of the uncomfortable emotions we are bound to feel on this journey. Our brain wants us to go back to bed, watch Netflix, drink beer and eat Cheetos.

As humans, we think that our target should be a straight shot, and should be all sunshine, daisies, rainbows and unicorns as lone as we are on the right path.  We start to feel like something has gone wrong as soon as it gets hard.

The opposite is true…

As soon as it gets hard and you feel resistance, you are right on track!

There are so many lessons to be learned on our journey to becoming the person that can create the result we want.  If we were already that person, if we had already grown and evolved, we would have already created the result.

What you are feeling is resistance.  When you feel the resistance and self-doubt and confusion and all the other things show up, lean in.  Embrace it and open up to the lesson right in front of you.

Consider the notion that the resistance that you are experiencing is an indicator and that all it is..  It’s an indicator that you are on the right track, heading into growth, the lesson is straight ahead and lean in.

If you recall last year Steve and I made the decision to move our fur family and ourselves to Florida, half way across the country.  We didn’t know how, we just knew what.  Within days of the decision, opportunities to make that dream a reality were presented to us.  We saw everyone of them and jumped, both feel.

Here is the deal…we weren’t looking for signs, we weren’t second guessing any decision, even when things got hard and ugly and challenging…and they did.

We made decisions that we loved and we made decisions that we didn’t love and then made different decisions that we loved.

You should go watch the replay if you have not seen it.

You are smarter and stronger than you think and you are braver than you will have to be on this journey.

I knew moving my two horses would be a challenge and it was.  I knew I had to be brave and do it anyway.  What I learned in the process of figuring it all out, I could not have learned by quitting, by turning around and going back.  When I leaned into the fear, I saw the lessons.  I learned that it wasn’t as hard as I was making it, and I didn’t have to be nearly as brave as I expected.

So, What Do I Do?

No one gets a straight shot to their target.  The obstacles on the course are there to encourage growth, evolve you and create an experience that allows you to show up as your highest and best self, even when it’s hard, even when you feel like quitting, even when you experience failure and doubt and worry.  Even when…

We spend way tooooooo much time avoiding failure and the truth is that you cannot have success without failure.  It’s not going to feel good all the time, it’s going to be painful at times and yet, it’s supposed to be exactly like that.

If it’s not, your goal isn’t big enough, you are under-dreaming, under-goaling, underestimating your own worth and value and talent and gifts.

When you spend your time trying to avoid failure, you are also avoiding success.  You can’t have one without the other my friends, it does not work that way.

Embrace it, lean in and go claim you prize!

Transformation Tuesday Replays.

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