Maybe you don’t even know where to start, that’s common and quite normal.
Maybe you don’t think that you can reach your goal, so why have one, why bother? I call that, failing ahead of time.
Maybe you spend more time thinking about the things that you would like to do rather than actually doing them.
Maybe you let yourself off the hook by thoughts like “I don’t have time, or I don’t have talent, or I don’t have the money or resources. I have too many reasons why not to even think about the possibility.”
I know those thoughts because I had them. I had them all! Totally human!!!
I was a beer drinking, Cheetos eating, ET watching individual. No, not the movie Extra Terrestrial…Entertainment Tonight.
For my stretch goal, I would pick the weeds out of my yard…by hand. Woohoo!
I could not, for the life of me, understand why I was OK with that. Why didn’t I put myself out there, why didn’t I have goals and ambition and passion for something, what the heck was going on? What was wrong with me?
Turns out it was because I was human and had a brain…totally normal!!
My brain was wired to think the life that I wanted to live was too risky to go for. It might mean that I would feel fear and rejection, anxiety, stress, sadness, that life might be challenging. I had doubts about my value and worth. So instead, I watched others, on TV, I watched their lives. I lived through them.
Sounds depressing doesn’t it? Actually, I wasn’t depressed at all. Until I picked up a shelf-help book (that was not a typo), and began to read. You see, I thought I could just read the books and feel better, do better, be better.
Turns out that you have to actually do the work and apply the work.
Crazy stuff I know but, unless you apply the work, it’s only a shelf-help book, and by the way, there is a reason it’s called “self-help.”
I read, “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. He said things like
“the starting point of achievement is desire.”
What did I desire? I had not even thought about it. I knew what I didn’t want. I didn’t want to be a burden to society, I didn’t want to be alone, I didn’t want to be talked about or laughed at, I didn’t want to feel bad and I didn’t want…
I only knew what I didn’t want, but I had no idea what I did want. I desired to avoid pain, I was moving away from things that I didn’t want instead of moving toward things that I did want.
Another life changing statement was,
“Set your mind on a definite goal and observe how quickly the world stands aside to let you pass.”
Born my obsession with goal setting!
And then this one…
“Put your foot upon the neck of the fear of criticism by reaching a decision not to worry about what other people think, do, or say.”
So how did I go from living at the effect of my circumstances to living a life by design, a life on purpose?
Lots and lots of thought work. I mean tons of it, still do.
Then I had to learn to apply the work. That is the hard part. I had to stop waiting for life to happen and I had to start making life happen.
I had to show up bigger, put myself out there and be the person that was willing to be uncomfortable.
I had to learn that anything I wanted to feel was available to me by what I was thinking, then I had to learn how to manage what I was thinking, I am still learning…
I learned that whatever I focused on the most became reality. Good or bad, it came to be.
Is my life perfect? Heck no! It never will be because I am not perfect, and life isn’t perfect and I don’t think that it is supposed to be.
Life is up and it’s down, it’s happy and it’s sad, it’s scary and it’s exciting, it’s difficult and it’s forgiving. It’s a contrast in colors and emotions and thoughts. That’s what adds texture and flavor to our lives. It’s how we know we are living.
I still have fear of rejection and anxiety about tons of things, but I have learned that all of that is our humanness so that we can appreciate peace of mind, love, kindness, empathy, relevance and assurance when we are fortunate enough to experience that.
So, what do you desire? What do you spend your time thinking about? What is that nudge you feel from the universe every so often? Are you moving away from something or toward what you desire?
Now, go be a goal setting, goal getting, goal digger!