Have you ever had an urge or a craving? You know, the one that says, “I WANT THAT NOW.”
Have you ever responded to an urge or craving?
Did you feel better? Did you feel worse?
Did you feel like you were comforted or rewarded, maybe distracted or even relief?
It probably tasted great and even fueled your rebel “damn that damn diet anyway” spirit.
Once you ate the thing, did you feel different? Mission accomplished, no more urge, it’s gone! Now you can go back to what you were doing and check the urge or craving off the list.
Or can you?
Now, guilt, shame, regret, remorse and blame follow. What the heck is going on?
It’s the subconscious that says you need a Kit Kat now or you will die, or at least not be able to think of anything else until you eat it!
The reason why we lose weight only to gain it back is because we don’t make peace with the thoughts and emotions that cause us to over eat to begin with.
We might white knuckle with willpower for a period of time but we don’t address the cravings and urges and before long, the weight is back.
We can insert any numbing behavior into this scenario…over drinking, over shopping, over-watching TV or playing video games. It’s all operating under the influence, not of alcohol, but of our subconscious. You know, that three year old with a knife.
What is the answer?
First, we need to identify the thought and the emotion that is the trigger behind the action.
Next, be curious about where the thought and emotion come from.
Next, change the thought!
It’s simple but it’s not easy. We want to change the circumstance or change the person who we really want to blame for the thought. Sound familiar?
“He pisses me off when he does that! I can’t believe he just did that, he knows that pisses me off.” The truth is, the way we choose to think about something is what causes the emotion of being pissed off.
People can’t make you feel anything that you don’t want to feel. Huh? Who in the heck wants to feel crappy?
The truth is, we really want to feel happy, not crappy. We are all on the quest to feel good and if it weren’t for all these people who are ticking us off, well, we would be happy right?
Wrong! As long as you are trying to change the people around you instead of changing how you think and feel about the circumstances, you will never be happy!
I have tried blaming everyone in my life for the way I felt, the emotions of fear, rejection and shame, loneliness and unworthy. The truth, I always had the power to feel differently and to think differently, I just didn’t know how.
Knowing how changes EVERYTHING!
Now go be a butt-kicking goal digger!!!!
Even thought this is written by a neuroscientist, don’t hesitate to read or listen to this book. I love listening to books electronically so that I can be active and still learn. Put in your ear buds in and head to the barn or the garden or whatever…good stuff. She puts her personal experiences into this books and reveals the powerful connection between exercise, learning, memory and cognitive abilities.